Time Freeze

Sometimes I think,

when times are slow,

when times are fast,

it all comes to me,

the bad,

the good,

and the plain down sad,

when will it end,

all this thinking.

Thinking is slowly killing me,

even if it is good,

there is some bad and evil laced in it.

I just want a day where I do not think,

I just do,

live in the moment with no consequences.

Freeze time maybe?

No, that will not do.

When will we be able to hit a re-set button on any year we choose?

What year will you choose?

Author's Note

Another fastly written poem, about thinking and how much it is killing me.

Reviews

[RedHairedWarrior]

I agree with Michael. You have a good concept and a good poem you've started, but it isn't "done" yet.

[Michael Iam Bone]

I understand and relate to the sentiment of this poem, but I feel it needs more polish. I could easily see this being an excellent poem given some revision. The idea is there though, I like it.

[Samantha Jenkins]

Polish? What do you mean by that?

[Michael Iam Bone]

Polish in a creative sense means to further refine your work. To give more detail and to increase the quality of that detail.

[Samantha Jenkins]

I am more into my book at the moment, or I am trying to be but I am losing muster. No one seems to be reading any of it or reviewing it. I have been trying to get attention for it and getting no where.

[RedHairedWarrior]

As a novel writer also, I understand the dilemma. =/ It is much easier to take the time out of a busy schedule to read a poem than a chapter, especially when you are trying to write your own books when you have free time. But there are other sites that have people who just want to read stuff. You can find some great beta readers out there.

[Samantha Jenkins]

Yeah, I plan on looking into other sites because I think I would rather focus more on my novel then poetry but I haven't even done much with it because I have not gotten much reaction to it.

[RedHairedWarrior]

Well, if this is your first draft, just get it written. Don't sweat the fact that it isn't currently getting read or that it isn't yet amazing. A first draft will always be terrible, and you can fine tune it much more effectively once you know (or think you know) where the story is going. But yes, I would say focus on the novel. I like poetry because it is a fun "something different," but for me, my books are what my life energy goes into. A novel is a much different beast than a poem, because it takes insane amounts of time revision, but eventually you do see progress. I like occasionally looking back at earlier versions of my book from four or five years ago (or even just a year or two ago) to see how much it has grown. And if this isn't your first draft, that's okay too. A novel is a many-layered project, and it almost always needs many drafts. Yes, look at other sites, but also just work on exploring your world. Other people can help you hone your work, but ultimately it is your creation. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is a relatable poem for me. The lines:
I just want a day where I do not think,
I just do,
live in the moment with no consequences, are beautiful! On an afterthought, I would like 2009 to freeze. Great read ☺

[Samantha Jenkins]

Why 2009?

Yeah, it randomly came to me. A lot of poetry comes to me during the weekends but I am not sure why.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

2009 was the time when my best friend moved to USA while I was left with nothing to look forward to.
I think weekends are the days when a person is free maybe thats how it works for you.

[Samantha Jenkins]

I am sorry to hear that.

I am actually at work on weekends, just more free time.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ahh right ☺

[Dr. YumnaKay]

And no its okay.. To me physical presence of a loved one is more meaningful than the social networking thing. Your composition just made me realized this more acutely.

[Samantha Jenkins]

I understand, so do I.

[Paul Bell]

2010 i would freeze. Sort of rewind a tiny bit, and she wouldn't have seen that other girl.

[Samantha Jenkins]

Awe, I do not even remember anything from 2010. I honestly, think I would want to freeze all of the summer before highschool then redo highschool and study more then worrying about guys and maybe get on the meds I am on now.

[Paul Bell]

Yes you must study harder. All your life after that to have fun.

[Samantha Jenkins]

I am out of highschool for some years now, and I am not good at college tried it.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

2017? I think that would be a great time to freeze time and live a life thoughtless lol
Nice poem. I like your concept behind the poem very much.

[Samantha Jenkins]

I guess, 2017 would make sense. I am not sure what year I would freeze, but I would have to think everything out to what I know now and what I did then.

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

hmm makes sense :)