This is a really cool idea and you write well, keeping up the suspense. I'm glad you say this is the first part of the story because I would love to hear more of it and that will hopefully also bring a bit more clarity to the story. Great start and as I said, great idea! Keep up the good work.......
Ah I like this. And I like the way you write. It helps push the tension. You don't just expect me to be excited because of what is going on, you force me to be because you force me to read it that way. Short fast sentences. Look forward to reading the rest.
This is a really cool idea and you write well, keeping up the suspense. I'm glad you say this is the first part of the story because I would love to hear more of it and that will hopefully also bring a bit more clarity to the story. Great start and as I said, great idea! Keep up the good work.......