19 something.

When will we be married?

I turned 19 in Huehuetenango, Guatemala. That day I thought I knew where my life was heading. I was going to graduate from Word of Life Bible Institute, go to Cairn University as an English major, find a “bae” at Cairn, get engaged after graduation, get married a year later, have kids maybe. I was pretty sure of where my teenage life was headed.

I was so completely,

Utterly,

Ridiculously,

Wrong.

I met a guy just 15 days after my birthday and I thought for sure he could be the one, but what I didn’t realize was in finding him, I was losing myself. This wasn’t just a personal mistake, this is a problem I see happening in so many people. We find an interest in someone and our minds get smashed into thinking unrealistic realities. When you’re nineteen you try to find love because you watched too many people be alone or maybe you even know what it’s like to be alone. But is finding that person at 19 really needed?

The median age for women in the United States to get married is 27, for guys it’s 29. That’s a lot higher than what it was 30, 40, even 50 years ago. The odds of a woman getting married before she’s 30 is 86% and for guys it’s 81%, yet here we are as 19 years olds desperately trying to find our “soul mate”, doing sexual acts and dating every guy we meet in hopes of having a ring by spring.

Most of us will live the life we envision for ourselves, so why do we frantically search for that person?

Today I learned this:

It doesn’t matter when I find that person I want to spend the rest of my life with because I’ll most likely accomplish all I want to have in my life.

The actions I make now will effect me in some way later.

I shouldn’t be talking to every guy who texts me and leading them on. Most of us have better things to do with our lives other than texting creepers.

I shouldn’t give in to doing things I’ll regret because I’m worried about losing that guy.

Just cause you’re 24 does not mean you’re mature and ready to take on marriage. In fact, you’re probably making stupider mistakes now than when you were in high school.

So with that I want to leave you with this. Do the things you can now while you’re still single and young. When you’re married with kids you won’t be able to travel the world, or party with friends, or watch 14 straight hours of Netflix. You don’t need to desperately search for that love and satisfaction. Stop rushing God’s timing, there’s a reason for why it’s called “his perfect timing” and not “your perfect timing” because your perfect timing is getting into a bad relationship too quickly that you can’t get out of cause you agreed to marry the wrong guy. Stop living in your past mistakes. Just because people hurt you or you’ve made wrongful choices doesn’t mean you are chained to those past experiences. Stop living for a world who only wants to destroy you.

You are not your past. You’re 19 and you’re single and the world is at your fingertips full of adventure and craziness that’s waiting to be explored. So go adopt that puppy, go move to Costa Rica, go skydiving. These opportunities might not be there in 15 years so make the most of them now. And please,

Please,

Please,

Stop seeking after what’s going to be placed in your life when it’s supposed to be there.