INJUSTICE

A poem

INJUSTICE

 

This dancing of life

On the auburn stage of misery

Wearing a jersey that is unfitting

 

Its twists and turns peppers my pains

That cause indelible pinstripes of wounds

On my heart that throbbed in a pool of hopes

 

Moments move without ticking on my silence

In the court of conscience I argue

For four seconds to the judge Almighty

 

Why am I born as a poor?

Why am I living as a poor?

Why cant I come out of it?

 

We have met earlier so many times

He doctored up the decree very soon

Through his silence as usual…

 

I couldn’t fathom anything

I packed up my life in despair..

And went out of the court

 

To the same prison of misery and poverty

Unguarded by police or rifles

The poster at the entrance reminded..

YOU CAN NOT HAVE A BAIL AGAIN

 

Reviews

[Tracie D'Angelo]

I really like the idea behind this poem. The pain and injustice shows through brilliantly. Nice job!

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

You've managed to put a lot of heartache into this poem and there is a genuine feeling of anger and injustice here.

One of the strengths of this poem is your use of fairly abstract imagery. The, "pinstripes of wounds" that other reviewers have picked up on is a nice clash of the uninspired corporate mixed with a primal emotion. I like seeing that mix of words from such clashing genres in poetry as it reminds me how urbane our everyday language is.

The part of the poem I wasn't so keen on is the use of the phrase, "as a poor". I don't know whether it's a colloquialism I'm not recognising or if it's there for some other effect. To me it just sounds poorly articulated and I lose some sympathy for the narrator as I get the impression that they are maybe speaking like this against their better nature. After all, they've opened the piece with the very elegant phrase, "This dancing of life on the auburn stage of misery" so why I have they changed their phrasing so dramatically part of the way through?

Overall I think you've effectively communicated a cycle that many people are trapped in. The idea that poverty is like a burden that can't be shaken off is explained so well as the narrator says, "I packed up my life in despair" and this is something that I'm sure will make many readers think.

[Holly O'Brien]

Lately I've wondered why my mind was on these things!! I've been thinking on how unfair life seems....everyone has hopes and dreams but far less than few accomplishes them. And we get to live based on the cards we are tossed, some get aces from birth and some have a really pitiful hand to play. It just all gets to you sometimes so I deeply felt this poem. It's an interesting thought and some good questions...but such is life...and maybe this is just a portion of life that we live...maybe it is not completely the end when we think it's over...

[Huggy Bear]

fantastic piece:)

[A.Lee]

This is such a strong poem. Very hard hitting and emotional, especially for those who have lived or are living that type of life. Very well written piece, I loved your descriptions. Good work.

[.]

great use of metaphor..clever, interesting and unique

[Richard Williams]

This is powerfully sharp with exceptional expression and turn of phrase. "...indelible pinstripes of wounds" and "...throbbed in a pool of hopes", finely done.

[Undying Glory]

wow this was powerful and sad work, what a poem you have right here. the injustices of society really appall me sometimes. i have read the book "The City Of Joy" and i think i know what you mean in this poem.
great work!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very hard thing to escape poverty. Here in the USA. Option for many poor is the military. Sometime ain't a easy life. The rest of the world it hard to get a head. A lot of strong statement in this poem. A powerful ending to a excellent poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[Alicia Schroeder]

Wow, amazingly written peice.