IF I WERE TO DIE TOMORROW

A poem

IF I WERE TO DIE TOMORROW

 

If I were to die tomorrow

This poem will sing aloud

That I had loved him

 

If I were to die tomorrow

Words of this poem

Will march like an army

To tell him that

I was honest in my love

 

If I were to die tomorrow

This poem will rhyme

Dove…. love….. dove.. love…

Reminding the dove like purity

Of my love for him

 

If I were to die tomorrow

This poem will collect 

New words and images

And rehash its attire..

Every now and then..

To let him know..

That my death can not kill

My love for him

 

 

 

Reviews

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

This poem proves that you don’t need to dig through a dictionary and write reams of gushing, flowing verse to describe powerful emotions.

The strength of this piece lies in its simplicity. There’s even a cute piece of self-referencing here when the narrator acknowledges that what she has is unadulterated, “this poem will rhyme dove.. love... dove... love”. The simplest of schemes but one she has eschewed in the poem in front of us.

There’s good use of a repeated theme here with each stanza beginning, “If I were to die tomorrow” which provides some structure in the absence of a rhyme scheme. It might have been nice to have some more of a rhythm to the poem though as the final stanza seems to get a little lost in itself and the cluster of ellipses.

Overall the effect of the poem is one of a very passionate love which the narrator seems to be at pains to make very clear to her beloved. Perhaps he does not recognise the intensity of her feelings of perhaps he just doesn’t say it? Either way this poem shouts her love to him!

[Tracie D'Angelo]

Very nice poem of unfaltering love. I really like the repetition of "If I were to die tomorrow".

[Rick Puetter]

Dear JENY,

I agree with RDPeck's comment on simplicity. This works. Simple language was good for Hemingway and Frost. It works here, too. I am a fan of the simple.

Now, to the content. Yes, isn't it satisfying that the words remain even when we depart. It's a sort of immortality. Now I know that this is still fleeting. The Human race with live its time and then be gone, and we'd be really lucky if our words would last as long as the Human race. Still, the words left behind remain. At least they stay with our immediate loved ones. What does it matter if they stay for a time beyond the ones we know and love? Perhaps it means something to those people, but any meaning to us is gone.

I enjoyed your poem. When I read this I went way beyond the personal love of a woman for a man in the poem. It applies so nicely to every aspect of life.

Very well done. High marks.

Best regards,

Rick

[Huggy Bear]

fantastic piece:)

[Richard Williams]

Essentially sincere, pleasing. I really like, "Words of this poem/will march like an army."

[A.Lee]

This is beautiful... I love the first paragraph. So true, such amazing words. Great work.

[Alicia Schroeder]

Brilliant peice. Deeply expressed feelings that would linger, Great job!!

[dovetailer]

There are those that have faith that love does not die...that is is the richness of life that you can take with you when you go...
I hope it's so...
Lovely sentiments...
Lovely poem

[Ruth]

Such devotion is hard to express, you have done so amazingly love, passion and devotion, lives on!
Beautiful sweet!
xx

[Brianna Brie]

This is amazing! I simply love it!

[Dream Weaver]

Inspirational for sure...