TIT BITS FROM MY WORLD

WROTE for a contest that asked to enter poems which kids will love to read...

TIT BITS FROM MY WORLD

 

When Mamma is late

Tom is my delight

Jerry is my contest

His winning is an alight

From a tight in my chest

 

When school is closed

A difference is ushered

Morning exercise is missed

Morning sleep is wooed, romanced

All time tables are upturned

 

 Science gives way to stories

Maths gives way to paintings

Class rooms give way to dance rooms

Evening strolls welcomes seashores

Where waves becomes my playmates

 

Small is my world

But great are my dreams

Mamma coaches me to dream

Papa instructs me of ways to follow

In the laboratory of my life

I am busy with my hours 

Author's Note

WROTE for a contest that asked to enter poems which kids will love to read...

Reviews

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I am a kid at heart and i love this .. it is simple enough for a child to grasp but it is deep and has a very good lesson. It is as Daniel says, inspirational.
Good luck in the contest. Wonderful writing.

Chloe

[Daniel Gardner]

great inspiring work. Hope you one the contest. This seems something kids would really like.

[Huggy Bear]

Very interesting and inspiring.

[Holly O'Brien]

Very interesting poem. Hints at the beauties of childhood and I love the metaphoric approach. This creates a cozy memory I'm sure many can relate to...good write :)

[Tracie D'Angelo]

I can see where you are going with this one, but I wasn't able to follow too clearly. It seemed a bit jumpy with broken thought patterns. I don't know about you, but I find it hard to write for a specific reason.

[Richard Williams]

This is strong in direction and substance, a good read.

[Nautili]

nice, esp. here when snow days are around the corner....liked the Tom and jerry lines, very clever. Tidbits! Loved this from a child's perspective, learning thru just having the time to explore.

[Ruth]

Amazing job you did of it too love!
I can see why children would love to read this :) I really like the
"In the laboratory of my life
I am busy with my hours " lines:)
Beautifully done :)
xx

[Coyote Poetry]

We learn much from our elders. I have my father's laugh. I have my grandfather patience. I like the complete poem. It was fun to read. A outstanding poem.
Coyote

[dovetailer]

wonderful empathy...drawing on our own perceptions of time long past and imagining the feelings of children...how our perceptions change as we age...it's all work and responsibility...we lose track of the simplicity of s life of a child...the fascination with everyday things...
Lovely piece...
I might change the words "Tit Bits" in the title to "Tidbits..." which is what I think you mean...
Line 5..."tightness" instead of a "tight" in my chest...
Drop the "s" on "welcomes"...
all minor editing issues that certainly don't take away from the premise of
the poem...more about presentation than content...
Oh, to be that young again...
nice job...