DOLLY'S DILEMMA

A story

                         

                          DOLLY’S DILEMMA

 

                     Going abroad is a nice idea. When it is to study it is really exciting. But daddy, I will miss you. I will miss my Dolly… my p***y. I will miss Kasim his kisses and smiles. It is painful to think of…. She wrote thus in her diary, said her prayers and entered into the mosquito net. The clock stroke 11 in night.

             In the morning she found her diary missing. She searched for it all over the room.

“Daddy..did you take my diary?” she brawled

“Your diary? Why should I take your diary? In this early morning what is to do with your diary?”

                   Daddy resumed news paper reading. The 16 year old Anirudha began to worry. It is full of her intimate thoughts that she never liked to share even with daddy. Her mother whom she missed a lot after divorce and her new boy friend Kasim, her lascivious adolescent emotions…all are in the diary. Oh God if daddy read it….she cant even imagine the aftereffects.

                               Who is there to stole her diary in that mansion like house when she and daddy are the only inmates in addition to the servant who can not even read?

                         The ghost stories one by one traversed through her mind uninvited. And she wondered why.

                 Is daddy fibbing? Perhaps he might have taken it to read the mind of his daughter and just pretending that he has not. Her mummy’s words came to her mind for no reason ..

“Your daddy knows well how to pretend. He can pretend that he loves you and me…”

                 Years ago she didn’t understand what the word “pretension” actually meant. That word was yet to enter into the intellect of a five year old. But later she knew what it means. But never did she try its meaning with her daddy as mummy said. Because, daddy loved and lived for her. And she knew it. So she always feared the loss of that love, her only asylum.

                             She stealthily entered into daddy’s room. She quickly scanned the whole room for her diary in blue leather covering. She wondered why her heart was pounding like a fountain. For the first time in her life she doubted her daddy’s words. And she hated herself for it. She scoured his book shelf, books and office files on the table, books on the bed which he left after his night reading, drawers of his cupboard which he never cared to lock. She was panting and beads of sweat gathered on her forehead. 

“What are you looking for?” she shuddered and turned in the direction of voice

It was daddy at the door, observing her. Her face turned pale.

“Didn’t I tell you I have not taken your diary?” Daddy’s voice was heavy. He stood there looking at her. She couldn’t read his face. They stood in silence for some time. Finally daddy broke it..

“Like your mummy have you begun to distrust your daddy?” He asked straight at her face.

She broke down. Covering her face with her palms she vent out her anxiety and guilt.

 Daddy came close to her and pressed her shoulders and patted on her back.

“Come with me” he said

She followed him. He led her to the main hall.

There he pointed his forefinger towards Dolly… her p***y. Dolly was playing with her blue covered diary. She has torn most of its pages into pieces as if she tried her best to read Anirudha’s mind from diary.

   “Daddy…I am sorry..I am sorry daddy” hearing Anirudha wailing like a baby even Dolly quit playing with diary and looked up the father daughter duo comforting each other.

                        Dolly noticed that father was smiling through her tears while he kissed her daughter. And the daughter cried like a hungry kitten clinching her father and hiding herself in his comfort. Dolly felt so sorry as she couldn’t make out the situation. She left the diary on the ground and curled herself between two pairs of feet, one of father and the other of daughter.