HEY CLOCK, STOP TICKING

Clock is a disturbance...

HEY CLOCK, STOP TICKING..

 

In the mornings of my school days

You alarmed me and my sleep

By your alarm, that blared as outcries

From the dead city of Utopia..

 

In the examination hall

Your ticking prowled like a gnome

Spilling neurosis of anxiety on all

Who sat in gaols of questions..

 

While waiting eagerly for my lover

On a rendezvous planned upon you

You were like a slow moving snail

The world has ever given birth to..

 

I admit I wished to crush your arms

When I stood in the first kiss of my love

So that I can make those moments

Eternal, as universal love itself…

 

I wished to twist your arms anti clockwise

So my lost past may visit me..

When my mother’s lap used to bolster me…

Which I lost to seasons, the stoics…

That came too soon like intruders..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today..

Deadly deadlines of busy days

In my hectic life of endless assignments

Makes me a busy bee …

At the cost of my soul’s silence

 

Your tik tiks on my eardrum

Disturbs my meditations

Arouses the madness of the beast

Inside me, who is ready to burst out

And crush you into pieces…

 

Beast in me is ready…

To wander in wilderness

 

Where clocks are mere logs of wood

Time is ready to move in tandem with

The time table of the tribe..

 

Where men’s clocks tick ticks…

In tune with his instincts..

In tune with his dreams of life…

 

Hey clock….stop thy ticking

Let me escape from your prison

Of tick tick tick…..

Reviews

[deeps]

Very wonderful and interesting read.

[Emily B]

time is both our friend and our enemy, depending on which side of it we are on :)

[RDOriginal]

This is a very interesting interpretation of how we appreciate time in different ways.

I like the structure you have chosen in this poem. Each stanza in the first section (which is written in the past tense) uses a different view of how we might see time and keeping them reasonably short keeps it from turning into an essay. I say that because the theme of 'time' seemed to be one of those recurring essay titles we would be set at school - normally by particularly unimaginative English teachers! In the second section (written in the present tense) the structure is less formal and the more fragmentary nature seems to reflect well the wide ranging thoughts about the emotions associated with and the history of time. Maybe something to consider at a later date might be whether this poem could be split into two larger works that develop the images further?

In terms of tone this poem feels quite negative. This is generally in accordance with the subject though as I can think of few circumstances that immediately leap to mind of the passage of time being a positive thing. Time as a healer seems to be the only one and that is generally trotted out as a meaningless cliche as cold comfort to someone who has lost something precious. I think you've done well to avoid sliding into despondency in a 'life is slow dying' Larkin kind of way!

My only negative comment would be a slight overuse of ellipses. They're great for tension in a 'you MUST read the next chapter right now' style or when words fail a character but here you seems to have quite an infection! I noticed a rampant rash of them in a piece of prose I reviewed the other day so maybe there's an outbreak of ellipses striking the whole or Writers Cafe...

You've chosen an interesting topic for a poem and given the reader much to ponder. Well done!

[Ed Hart]

i think you have to poems here