THINK TWICE

Wrote for picture contest

THINK TWICE

 

Skinny legs

In your skimpy clothes

Your nudity in the glaring sun

Will never arouse animal

 

Thirst is doused

By the memory of a redness

Of blood, where first beat of life floated

After severance of two sated desires

 

Vaporized reality condense

Spreads far above in omnipotence

Anytime might pour itself down

In torrents that might freeze your pride

 

Sun glasses can never cover sun

Skin of zebra will not bring boldness

Cast away these vanity of mundane life

Life is too short, shorter than your shorts.

 

Come down to the earth..

To live the life of simplicity

Where roots go firmly downward

While leaves and fruits dart upward..

Where heavens rest in royal splendor.

 

Think twice to come down..

Think twice to be humble, simple...

To be humble and simple ....…

Think twice….!!!  

 

Reviews

[Ashley]

i like it. its different and flows well. i think the imagery is very good. well done

[indu]

Your nudity in the glaring sun
Will never arouse animal

i feel that these are power packed lines. loved the poem,jeny. but i think u could have avoided the last 4 lines.

[An owl on the moon]

Can sense the depth of your message for the simplicity of life... for those things that really matter.. the truth of our humanity. Beautifully spoken.

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

really interesting take on the image. i wonder if anyone else would have seen this in it. i suspect not - and that alone gives this power. there were a few rough spots for me like the repetition at the end.. that second "to be humble, etc" just felt a little clumsy

love the line "skin of zebra will not bring boldness" there's a lot of meaning packed into those 7 words

this piece of it was my favourite:

Come down to the earth..
To live the life of simplicity
Where roots go firmly downward
While leaves and fruits dart upward..
Where heavens rest in royal splendor.

[deeps]

i like this, mkaes one ponder really.
Very well written and stated.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

somewhere between the shine and the mud there must be a balance~ clever poetic construction~ engaging and thoughtful~

[Devons]

Taking the image as a symbol of vanity (which is one of the many things it truly is), this poem effectively shows the stark comparison between the honesty of nature and the dishonesty of the superficial. Through this comparison it illuminates the distant, far-removed contrived image of the human being - which thinks itself way beyond the 'alien' environment of nature and beast. But ultimately the basic difference is very small indeed, despite perfect body, clothes and car. The visual language conveyed by the girl in the picture then seems almost silly and vacuous, totally unaware of her connection with reality and her roots in existence on this earth. And also, the fragility of this status: "In torrents that might freeze your pride"..
Above all this piece alludes, with insight, to the meaninglessness of this image of the apparently 'evolved' human being.
"Sun glasses can never cover sun
Skin of zebra will not bring boldness
Cast away these vanity of mundane life
Life is too short, shorter than your shorts."
..This stanza is particularly incisive in this sense, and the last line is really enjoyable and effective in terms of its relation to the image..
And..
"Your nudity in the glaring sun
Will never arouse animal"
..Interesting and thought-provoking piece.
The only criticism I have is that I think the last two lines could be omitted.

PS. In the 4th stanza, shouldn't it read "..this vanity.." ?

[Ed Hart]

stop telling people what to do, and start thinking twice yourself