VANITY

A poem about vanity

VANITY

Vain is this vanity

I knew that in my sanity

Still vain is this hope

To escape from it’s rape.

 

Vanity is a lack of sanity

Vanity is a lack of amity

Vanity is a lack of simplicity

 It hurls lives into a bitter complexity.

 

When I am empty, it overflows

When I am defeated, it boils

When I am exposed, it flaunts

When I am told what I am…

It squiggles in pains.

 

Compassion kills vanity, mother says.

Tolerance chokes vanity, father says.

Humility murders vanity, teacher says.

All these are antidote to vanity, priest says.

 

I took a cauldron

Mixed compassion

With equal amount of

Humility and tolerance

 

In the fire of renunciation

And selfless sacrifice

I let it to brew for years

Patience kept on fuelling the fire

 

I could see my vanity

As vapors escaping

Into a hell far above me

Where heavens too

Opened their doors.

 

To usher me into a vanity

Fringed by religious dogmas

That is hailed as sacred by Gods

By priests and teachers..

The old vanity in a robe of sanctity!!!.

Reviews

[Angel Veselinov]

Another really emotional and great piece. Thanks for sharing :)

[Devons]

Although it refers to religion, I think this poem shows that there is vanity of some kind or another throughout existence. There will always be a form of vanity, even from those who are seemingly above it; and that perhaps hypocrisy works with it hand-in-hand. Even to take a sanctimonious stance against the vice of vanity implies vanity in itself. A pride in not being vain also indicates a vanity in pride, so to speak. The poem shows us how this particular form of vanity is shoved down our throats by these kinds of people. Who is the better? Who is the less vain? I think the most important factor here in terms of its message, is that it depends on how exactly the reader defines vanity..there are many different forms.
I think the reference to religion perhaps may confuse the reader at the end, but overall the message is clear, and the poem works well. I particularly like the list of wise maxims from various pillars of society, and the cauldron metaphor.
A well-executed, thoughtful piece of writing, with an enlivening technique. I would however make the text smaller in size - large lettering gives one the impression one is being shouted at!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

I loved the concept of this piece a lot, and the way you concluded the piece was very appealing. Great work!

[Undying Glory]

you've picked a real interesting topic here, that's really good. it's really intriguing as one is definitely drawn into your words (the big font sure helps to do that). however, yes, there is a little misunderstanding. it's a little unclear, are you criticising vanity or are you embracing it?
anyway good job!

[Tracie D'Angelo]

Very interesting poem. I do like the subject matter and like the message that comes across although I'm not a fan of the structure of the poem. It seems a bit chaotic and changes and I think that took away from the understanding a bit. I do like the 3rd stanza. For some reason I'm a fan of that type of repetition. I really like the end too especially the last line. Very nice!

[Miss Coral]

Interesting piece.. the repetition was a bit much for me, but I'm just not a huge fan of repetition to begin with... I have a question though: was the first word supposed to be "vain"?

Otherwise, good job... I liked your word choice. c:

[Martina]

wow this is very powerful and well written
well done! :)

[Faceless Love]

Powerful. Great write.

[Ruth]

I have to say, I wasn't expecting that lol
Awesome poem!
Vanity is always going to cause rifts and yet, we are all the same beneath! lol
You took this to a whole other dimension hon, last stanza is great!
xx

[Globy]

That was really powerful. I realy enjoyed it!! well done :)