SHOULD I DIVE?

WROTE FOR A PICTURE CONTEST

SHOULD I DIVE?

It is difficult to dive

But I must dive

As I am in the suit

I must do what suits my suit.

 

Third eye on my head may provide light

But only diving can give insight

Strange are the ways of the sea

How these fishes manage to see...!!

 

Not that I am sad

Not that I feel bad

But, while thinking of purpose,  

I am tempted to suppress my duty.

 

Like these waves that reach shore..

Only to return to the beginning…

Repeating these futile cycles

Is frightening, than abysmal sea bottoms

 

 

Shall I stay on the shore?

About diving deep should I bother?

While the end of both diver and onlooker

Are pre mapped by the same driver

 

Help me to decide

Weather to live or rest

For what for whom and why

Am I born with this uniform?

 

Author's Note

On looking into the picture that was given for contest
I felt that the person is a diver, ready to jump into the sea..

Reviews

[Ashley Black]

The style and flow of the piece is difficult to follow because it is so choppy, but it portrays a good point nice job

[Martina]

O.O wow the imaginery is great!
I could easy see it in my mind =)
well done ^^

[Angel Veselinov]

It is great imaginary piece :) you did very well :)

[Huggy Bear]

I love it:)

[Randolf Ramos]

This poem is a little help about life, we have to concentrate to achieve our goal!

--- This reminds me of my college days in manila, the only motto Im obsessed with posted on our library " SUCCESS IS ACHIEVED BY PERSEVERANCE " your poem says it all! Dive with every opportunity in hand, you dont know where will it take you! great keep it up!

[Tracie D'Angelo]

I wasn't too hip on this one. I don't know what the picture looked like. I noticed that the poem itself was a link, but it didn't direct to a diving picture so I'll have to use my imagination. :) I didn't think this poem flowed smoothly and got a little confused about what was going on. I figured that it wasn't just about diving and there was more depth to it, but I don't think that message was strong enough. There were a lot of really good ideas such as the "uniform" and just the whole idea about diving which can really be expanded on.

[.]

"Like these waves that reach shore..
Only to return to the beginning…
Repeating these futile cycles
Is frightening, than abysmal sea bottoms"

great write and i love the metaphor...
you are so good at self emotive expression
...i love this poem...

james:-)

[the_stoic]

time and again i'll tell you the same .. you have an uncanny ability to take up any theme and weave words based on it ! it's always a pleasure reading your writes . this one was the same :)

just a few errors in the last stanza . i'll point them out for you

Help me to decide
Whether to live or rest
For what , for whom and why
Am i born with this uniform?

[Dream Weaver]

Wow Jeny, what a clever write you've etched here.
Swirling imagery that makes one ponder. Nicely
done. I enjoyed this one.....