SHE WAS A WITCH

wrote for a contest

SHE WAS A WITCH!!

 

Bewitched

Entered into her room

With a burning desire, inexplicable!!

Into my eyes she goggled

To touch her just to touch her

Craved my body and heart

Hot was her that charm in her eyes

Eyes aroused much the male who I am

Dubiously I paced towards her

 

B

Embraced her redolent figure

Waves of joy in thousands exploded

Imagine what can happen

Cries of ecstasy escaped

Heart pounded for more

Enforced to believe in pleasure,

Days and nights I spent with the witch.

 

B

End is inevitable for everything

Which began with a beginning.

Impaled by a relapse unexpected

There I lay stolen by her

Ceased by something I mistook for eternal

Heaves of a lost glory loomed around

Enthusiasm gave way to bitterness

Death seemed to be prowling around

 

B

End came like a fluke from sky

Witch came out from disguise

In my neck her kiss made a hole

Thrusting her form upon me

Cells of my blood she oozed out

Heart turned pale, slowed down.

Enigma like, my life dangled in air

Death dragged me from my body, my life.

 

B

End of an ending

What next?

In the heaven

There were angels

Celebrations

Holy days

Ecstasy in its real form

Do believe my words, my dear friends.

Reviews

[Wicahpi]

goggles are those things you were on your face...so
I would definitely change that word. :)

I, myself, don't know why leaving "B" blank is
important here, but sure there are many "B" words
to be used. I enjoyed the 4th stanza, very much.

I actually do believe some of this seems forced,
but I do like the theme of the story. I appreciate
the fact that you gave this contest a whirl.
Thank you for entering Bewitched & Good Luck!

[Huggy Bear]

The flow of these series of poems are amazing. It is intelligently done:)

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

I agree with RichardP - I love how it doesn't seem forced :) However, like Richard, i didn't like the use of the world "goggled". It just didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the poem. Maybe check in a thesaurus for a similar word? I'm sure there must be other words with a similar meaning you could use.

[RDOriginal]

A cracking tale of obsession and the occult! The restriction you've placed on yourself by having the first letters of each line spell out the word 'bewitched' certainly doesn't make the poem seems unnatural at all when I read it (I've read similar pieces before and there's inevitably a line or two where you read it and think "hmmm, that's rather forced just to use a 'B"!) The only little grumble I have is the use of the word 'googled', I'd have thought that was maybe phrase more suited to describe a baby or animal rather than the stare of a lover? It's good to know that even if you have an passionate affair with a witch you still go to heaven!