DEVIL'S CORNER

wrote for the group writer's game....

                   DEVIL’S CORNER   

       Fr.Thomas had been watching the boy since he enrolled as an inmate. Nearly a month had passed since his arrival in the orphanage. Seven year old Manu was not at ease with himself despite the fact that there were many things to divert his attention from the trauma he went through at this tender age. He was very much disturbed.

           Fr. Thomas knew what it was to lose one’s mother at this insecure year of one’s life. But it seemed that it was not his mother’s memories that assail his peace of mind.

               Devil’s corner was at the north east corner of orphanage play ground where no boy dared to go. The cook Sebastian’s story of the devil whose favorite dish was children’s meat had terrorized the little minds so grisly that many of them woke up from their sleep only to weep silently in the dark night that spread in the dormitory. In those nights they prayed only for one thing, for the daylight, to come soon.

 

“Where were you?” Father asked Manu seeing him coming late from the play ground.

Manu bit his lips in bewilderment and looked up at the face of priest. Priest seemed overwhelmed by compassion for those little beseeching eyes.

“He went to Devil’s corner” One of the boys said.

“Devil’s corner? For what?” Fr. Thomas looked Manu in askance.

“To catch butterfly” Manu mumbled.

“No he is lying” The witness boy shouted.

“OK…Ok…all of you get ready, it is prayer time.

Remember boys, tomorrow it is New Year. I have special gifts for you” Father declared.

Everybody clapped their hands, some of them even jumped up hollering aloud except Manu. Father’s eyes struck on Manu’s face. The boy seemed to be thinking of something deep. His eyes glued to the plain whitewashed empty wall. Though father has been the keeper of the orphanage for last 10 years reading children’s mind was the gravest of tasks he had to undertake.

 As Manu joined the posse of boys to the prayer hall father noticed that the boy didn’t talk to anybody. During prayer he never moved his lips. He sat like a piece of furniture among other boys.

 

That night Fr visited their dormitory. He did so often

to give the boys a feeling that he was with them even when they were asleep. He wanted to say them it in words. But he didn’t . As he knew that the words can never give even an iota of what they actually needed. The warmth of a mother, her good night kiss.

“Manu, come with me” Father said

“He will be punished for prowling into Devil’s corner” The witness boy mumbled to the boy next to him

 

“Are you ok?” Father stooped a little to bring his face in the same level as Manu’s.

Manu nodded, his eyes cast down.

“What gift do you want tomorrow?” father raised Manu’s chin with his hands.

At the very touch of priest’s fingers, Manu burst out. His sobs spread all over the orphanage. In the thick darkness it loomed around and stood there suspended unable to escape.

Father said prayers in the ears of Manu.

“Holy Mary, mother of Jesus…..”

Father’s hands rested on boy’s head till he fell asleep.

“Wish you a Happy New year” Father whispered into the ears of sleeping Manu.

 

          On the eve of New Year celebrations fr Thomas was in panic. Manu was missing. Nobody had seen him since evening. Manu could never go out of the compound, father was sure. As walls are too high for a 7 year old boy to jump over and escape. He ruled out the possibility of going him into the Devil’s corner at that hour as sun had already retired behind the hills.

                     Still some voice repeated in his mind to search for the boy in Devil’s corner. Father set out with a torch and a walking stick. Devil’s corner was full of wild bushes. As nobody cruised there father never attempted to clear the ground of weeds and useless grass.

           He looked around in the light spread by the torch. Nobody was visible. Some birds flapped their wings and flew away seeing the intruder of their night’s abode. January moon not so big hung in the sky, in apathy.  Priest ventured 30 more yards into the bush. Finally he spotted the boy. A sigh of relief escaped from his lungs.

 

The boy was squatting on the ground, naked from his waist down. His back was against the priest. Father strained his eyes to see what he was doing. To his astonishment the boy was defecating.

“Manu….” Father called softly, taking care not to embarrass the boy. The boy turned back and a loud shriek escaped from his gullet over this unexpected meeting. The boy was shivering convulsively. Father held him tightly.

 “My boy….” Father kissed on his forehead. Birds flapped their wings. Bats flew over their head squeaking. Far away a wild cat moaned in agony.

 

In the father’s room boy sat cringed on the chair near father. He shrank to himself as forcefully he could.

He never looked at father’s face.

Father was calm. He placed his right arm on Manu’s drooping shoulders.

“Manu you know that we have well furnished and clean bath rooms and toilets. Then why did you do it in Devil’s corner ?”

                         The boy didn’t answer. He hid himself in an impenetrable silence. Father couldn’t break open boy’s silence. He framed questions in many ways, tried numerous times. The boy slumped in the chair wiping his eyes every now and then on the sleeves of his shirt.

                        Fr Thomas gazed at the boy for a long time. Then stood up, paced towards boy’s chair, and bent a little. He suddenly scooped the boy in his arms. Manu’s body was dead stiff as the father pressed him to his chest.

               Father said, “Relax my boy, relax”

          Manu could feel the heart beat of father and the smell of incense that wafted from father’s cassock soothed his nerves. Manu closed his eyes. Father sat on his chair with Manu on his lap. He kept on patting all over the boy. Boy sat there crouched like a snail.

               Nearly 20 minutes passed, father bought his lips so close to boy’s ears and whispered.

“Now, tell me Manu why didn’t you use toilet of our home?”

“There is mother” boy mumbled.

“Where? In the toilet?” Father asked tilting boy’s chin slightly so that he can see his face.

“Yes..inside the toilet, hanging…”As he said so, boy began to dither and panted in agitation.     

Father held him tight and kissed on the forehead of boy.

Father remembered words of the man who brought the boy.

“His mother was seen dead in the toilet of the house where she worked as a babysitter. She hanged herself. Boy has nobody else to take care of.”

  Later father knew that it was Manu who first saw the body of his mother hanging from the ceiling. Father tried to measure the depth of the wound in boy’s mind.

He saw that it was abysmal.

           Next day itself father ordered the servants to clear the bushes off the ground in the Devil’s corner. He determined to make a garden there. He planned in his mind to give Manu charge of tending those plants.

         He chalked out the plan and discussed it with Manu. It was indeed a New Year for both of them.

 

Reviews

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

I think the idea behind this is brilliant :) I loved reading this. However, if I may, I think you used too little punctuation. There were several sentences that could have been improved dramatically had you just added a comma or two.

Also, the tense you were writing in confused me at times.
"Fr.Thomas had been watching the boy since he enrolled as an inmate. Nearly a month had passed since his arrival in the orphanage. Seven year old Manu was not at ease with himself despite the fact that there were many things to divert his attention from the trauma he went through at this tender age. He is very much disturbed."
It seemed like you switched tense from past tense to present tense in that paragraph, but perhaps it was just a typing-error. Perhaps I'm simply misunderstanding it.

The only other criticisms I'd make would be that it seems slightly rushed in places and the font got on my nerves. However, the fact that it seemed rushed might well just be me, and the font is a matter of personal opinion.

Over all, I love the idea behind this, I just think that you need to read it through again and consider editing it slightly by adding in some more punctuation or rewording sentences that make it seem like you're switching tense. If you do decide to edit then, please, send me a read request. I'd love to read it ^^ Keep my updated!

[indu]

good story.. touching one..and a gr8 narration..