REPLY TO A DIVORCE NOTICE

Wrote in memory of a female patient who came to me for counseling…

REPLY TO A DIVORCE NOTICE

                Visible volcanoes are less harmful than invisible volcanoes. In you I can see a volcano not visible to the world outside. If it explodes all of us will be charred down in its heat and fire. But if it implodes the only person who will succumb to it is you. And the only person who can see your destruction is me. I feel sorry being with you. As you know, it is beyond my human power to neutralize the volcano in you. What can I do is to pray god to postpone that ominous moment he has destined for its explosion. The worst part of all is that it’s existence in you is not within your reach though it is a part of you. You developed it within you unknowingly, unconsciously.

                        If it explodes out, world will applause as they get one more proof for their argument that most of couples are faking love for the sake of family. You will be welcomed by them for your mettle. I will get sympathy for being alone. But our child, she will keep on swimming in the hot lava of insecurity and crises into which she is hurled for invisible reasons, not hers.

                    Who knew, she may nourish a volcano in her later life and join the posse of divorcees?

My darling, never let the volcano explode. Let us forgive each others foibles and frailties, give me time to discover you in the canvas of our marriage relationship. Perhaps, tomorrow I can identify you, dive into your entity and shed my tears of love upon that volcano so that I can douse the fire and molten lava in it.     

                           Never let ourselves succumb to mortal things. We are born for a purpose in this world and brought together to help each other for its accomplishment. Never allow the volcano to explode. Never allow it to implode. You are doomed to die in both events.

             For this letter she replied like this.

 

                    My dear husband, next month is our 7nth wedding anniversary. This is my 3^rd divorce notice I am sending you. Each time, your peppered reply made me withdraw from the act of disrupting a family and I came back to you. During these seven years you promised at least 700 times that you will stop drinking.

                 Each night you come drenched in alcohol. You were clam and quiet. You never made a noise or manhandle us as some drunkards do.  But I do not want a calm and quiet husband to fill up my nights. I slept beside you listening to your nasty snoring. My daughter seldom sees her sane father. You love me. I love you. But you are not living with us. You are living inside the house, not inside us.  

                           I want to live my life in its fullness as a lady, as a mother, as a social being, as a human being. As you recognized, the volcano in me is my need for self actualization, self fulfillment. Life is to be lived out by giving. It is a nightmare to live a life with a man who is ignorant about the art of give and take. It is like living in cemetery with dead bodies that lay asleep drinking death the whole year.  

                    I need a separate life from you as my needs are not material. You are giving us all material amenities for our life. But that is inadequate to quench thirst of my self as a human being. I clipped my wings thinking that I need not fly. It is enough that you fly and when you return home, you will tell me about the beauty of sky, the splendor of sunrise, the roar of sea, the temerity of winds, the mystery of forests, stability of mountains etc. I thought that I can see and enjoy, through your eyes everything in the universe into which I am born. But you ignored me. And your stubborn impervious calm nature built an invisible prison around me and my daughter.

                 As you said, I too do not want the volcano erupt. But this volcano will explode if I stay with you. Because, it is your unnatural, preposterous way of loving us sowed its seed.

                           Ask your baby to come with her father. She will not come. As she has not seen her daddy very often in a sober state, she can not make sure of the sincerity of your invitation to her to live with you. Everything in this world can be reinstated but trust. Once trust is lost, nothing in this universe can retrieve it. I do not want to lose it a 701st time in our relationship.

 

                So I am going away from your life.

Reviews

[Warrior]

Great story telling. This did justice in the realm of getting the message across. Great message. There's lot of times where a story can have a great message to aim for, and have a lot of under lining things but then no one gets it, and if no one gets it, then the point has failed. But in my opinion this did well to get the message across. You made it clear, which is why I think it's good. Keep up the good work. What was also great was that I could imagine the story as I read it, and that is also a strong point of stories. The ability to have the reader imagine it because after all we're reading not watching it, but it was as if I was there as I read this, and that is great. Great visuals and great story telling. It had plot and substance. When you add substance to writing it gets that much better. It gets the reader hooked on it and make them feel as if they are part of it. As long as their is that emotional connection between the reader and the story then it's good. The connection you were able to established in the writing gives the reader a sense of comfortably that they are in tune with the writing. So that way when the writing is over, the reader wants more, and wishes it didn't end. I feel the same way when I watched a movie or tv series that I get so attached to, I never want it to end. And for this writing, I didn't want it to end. You had me hooked, and I am sure everyone else who read it was hooked as well. That is good, that is what you want for people to keep wanting more. The way you put the story together makes me feel like my life is different for that moment in which I read your story. I love it, and it was beautiful. Just keep posting stories like this, and you'll have a good following.

[JENY]

It is the first time I get a sincere review like this...
Thanks..B-law..I am lucky that you reminded me..
that...there are stories in me...
we will meet again....I am sure...

[Samuel Dickens]

In the event that this is true, I'm very sorry that your friend and her child had to endure such pain. This scourge of divorce and alcoholism has ravaged my own family my entire life, so I know too well it's awful results. You apparently know the subjects well and left no stone unturned in writing this.

[Emily B]

it is a difficult letter to write, but gives me much to think about . . .