CYBER DE-ADDICTION

Recently there was news that many are getting addicted to internet day by day….. I wrote it for a competition....

CYBER DE-ADDICTION

 

My loneliness melted

When he silently flowed

Into my blue brain, pain stuffed.

 

This computer of me

Sole friend of me

Never ever lied me

Faithful he remained

 

A touch with my finger

He is in earnest, for me, to usher

Into worlds myriad, to quench my hunger

He is there on my call, never ever tired

 

Cyber space gave me wings

Dead and alive alike my friends

Dead taught me who is a genius

Alive taught me how to be acknowledged

 

Loneliness drowned in a sigh

Of a relief that was intoxicatingly high

I never bothered time, to weigh

I was in my world, addicted

 

Forgot my breakfast

Lunch time ran past by my thirst

While I immersed in cut and paste

It was then, one day, I was noticed

 

Internet, him, never blame

From a source mysterious it came

She had solitude, she had time

Cure both, doctor said, to get de-addicted.

 

Father kissed on my right cheek

Mother on my left cheek

For brother, no extra cheek

With much affection he hugged

 

Home became a new bevy

We didn’t knew it before, why

Father, we should never make her cry

Everybody in joy clapped and clapped.

 

 My home is my favorite site

Everybody in a company is a sight!!

We browsed, each other, to log in tight

Only for love and concern, we googled!!!!

 

My home my church now

I wonder the quick change how

Seeds of love and trust we sow

Staves off addictions we suffered.

 

Author's Note

Recently there was news that many are getting addicted to internet day by day…..
Wrote this poem thinking of that piece of news
For the competition….THE ZEJEL for which a special way of rhyming is needed.

Reviews

[Shalini Dinesh]

its true that we get addicted to internet and this poem brings out the fact but i feel that there are few grammatical mistakes which could be corrected, otherwise the idea was good. As night fox has already said, you could reduce the font size cause this is cause bigger and older fonts sometimes are visually unpleasant.

[The Analog Kid]

There is much about this that is true. I like the word play of site/sight.

[Ed Hart]

this loses its cuteness at the edge of the truth of it...thoughtful

[The Night Fox]

Not bad. Interesting, I'll give you that much. Personally, I've never been one much for poetry, so I can't say a whole lot but that I rather liked it.
What I would recommend, though, is that you use a smaller font, to make it easier to read.