a cup of hot chocolate

The steam from the coffee mug rose steadily in the cold room. Hands clasping and unclasping the sides of the hot glass for warmth but letting go as the level rose to an uncomfortable level. She sat there staring out her window wondering if to day would be the day she actually did it. Would she actually build up the will power to do it or would she follow in the footsteps of every other day and just sit there holding her steaming cup of hot chocolate waiting for her life to began like a book or movie.

Tentatively taking a sip she almost spilled it on herself, it was to hot still to drink and she could already feel her tongue going a weird num and knew she wouldn’t be able to taste anything till later in the day.

“That’s what I get for being inpatient.” She whispers to the mug the steam a slow lazy constant curl but nothing like the torrent it was when she first sat down at her little kitchen table next to her little window in a to small apartment. Would she do it? Could she do it?

The question hunted her and still she ignored it and went about her boring little life in her boring little cramped apartment. Still the same thing, clean the dishes, make the bed, do the laundry, wash or vacuum the floors. It never ended, she would clean the dishes she used the day before and wash what little clothes she wore yesterday was well. Never leaving the apartment she would just clean and clean and clean never thinking of opening that door never wanting to see what would be beyond it. Instead she was content with her boring little life, in her boring little apartment to small for even on person. Safe in her own little world were she knew the rules and knew what to do and how to do it. Never worrying about were her food came from, the same food would be waiting for her to fix the next day and she would fix it the exact same way she did the day before not seeming to mind that she was eating the same thing over and over and over again.

Oh yes her life was safe she didn’t have to think of anyone ells just herself and never wanted any company, she was content but still… something was missing, and every once in a while she would sit at her little table with her hot chocolate and think what might lay outside her window, what she might do if she ever dared to open that door and take a step our of her small apartment, out of her own little world.

“What would I find?” she mused aloud as she took another sip of the now perfect drink, not to hot and not to cold. Lazy wisps of steam escaped here and there but for the most part they were none existent, much like her musings would be once the drink was done and the mug was in the sink wear it would wait until the next day to be cleaned and put back on the shelf until it was needed again.

 

Reviews

[Justine Wrigley]

I really like where the theme of this story is going.
I think it can be improved in the places where you literally tell us what's going on in her life instead of letting the character show us through her actions, or by describing the apartment she lives in.
It seems as though she has agoraphobia, or maybe she has social anxiety? Try to pull those in to make it clearer to the readers, not in a way where you actually say the words "agoraphobia" or "social anxiety", but again, letting the character do the work for you.
Great little tid-bit - Keep Writing!
-JW

[smee]

thank you so much for reading my story and giving good feed back. i wrote this while trying to free write and it just came out. i didn't even realize i was telling instead of her showing the action, i need to keep an eye out for that one thanks.
i was going more for a metaphor with this story. it wasn't that she has agoraphobia or a social disorder but more that she is some one living out there lives waiting for something to happen but being so comfortable in there own life they don't want to try to make anything happen i guess. her apartment and the cleaning are a parallel to what we do in our own lives, like work. i'm glade you liked it and i will try to keep writing thank you again for your review it made my day :D