Love

...means so many things...

Love...

Is it just a feeling, an emotion, something that disappears when out of mind?  No.  I think not.  I think that it goes beyond anything and everything any one of us can possibly imagine.  It's something that bonds better than superglue, and stays longer than eternity.  It's a spiritual, physical, and emotional choice, but once the choice is made, it's made forever.  Infatuation is one thing, but love, real love, dyed in blood, tried and true love is something that makes a mark, and never goes away.  No matter how much we think we want it to.

 

Now that I'm working in Human Services again, I think about love all the time.  People ask me how I can work with "those people" all day long.  I smile and say, "let's start with you telling me what it's like to BE one of "those" people.  LOL

 

There is a woman that I interact with in my day and she is beautiful.  Remarkable, in fact.  She has no teeth, very little hair, and is the most wise woman I've ever met.  As a matter of fact, she works for me part time.  She is my receptionist.  When I took over as an executive of this human services company, I made many changes, and the first one was to make her my assistant.  I wish you could see her the way I do.  She's a certified nursing assistant who fell on hard times.  Her family passed her over when she became diagnosed with what society considers a major mental illness.  LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THAT ILLNESS IS....it's called having a******s for family members!!!  Anyway, her eyes sparkle, and are sad at the same time.  She has really no idea how to answer the telephone, but is so eager to learn.  When I called her in to my office this afternoon for our weekly coaching, the first thing I told her was how much I appreciate her.  SHE CRIED!  SHE SMILED! SHE LOOKED ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYE and said something that completely broke my heart.  "NO ONE EVER SAID THAT TO ME BEFORE in my life."  I looked at her and said "Well, get used to it, because before it's all said and done, you're going to be the most valueable employee in this company."  We then moved on to telephone etiquette, how to make a wardrobe from existing clothes in the closet, and most importantly, how to appreciate a true compliment.  As she walked out of my office, I WAS CRYING. 

 

LOVE...

 

It doesn't cost a thing...as long as you are willing to have your heart broken into a million pieces, and then have it picked up again.  Now, love is also being tough when we need to be.  Let me tell you about another woman.

 

She's six feet tall, long blonde hair, beautiful face and blue eyes, AND HAS ABSOLUTELY NO CONSCIENCE.  She doesn't work directly for me, but as her direct supervisor was out of the office, her duties fall temporarily on me.  I called her into my office and had to tell her that were I given a choice, I would choose my receptionist to take over her duties.  Yes, as you can guess, she was appalled.  The tears fell, the words flew, and until she saw me typing a letter at 98 wpm, she thought she was queen bee.  "I'm the best assistant this company has ever seen."  I smirked and thought twice before responding, but then decided with her, as with my receptionist, honesty is the best policy.  I responded "I can imagine that what you say is true.  I also imagine that having new management take over is quite an adjustment for you.  However, seeing that we work in Human Services and not for Victoria Secret, the outside appearances are not nearly so important as the inside appearances."  Before I was allowed to finish, she stormed out of my office and threatened to quit.  She really is a very beautiful woman.  I am quite certain as well, that with a little work, she might also appear to be human on the inside... As she walked out of my office, she visciously snapped at my receptionist.  Now, you all know me fairly well, and know me well enough to know what my reaction to THAT was.  Being that I am now in an executive position, saying the words "GET THE F**K OUT B***H YOU'RE FIRED" aren't allowed to come out of my mouth.  As difficult as it is for me to bite my tongue, I was able to take a deep breath, followed her into her office and closed the door. 

 

"Being a reasonable individual, I am willing to overlook that you just reduced my receptionist to the size of a pea, however, if I see it happen again, or hear of any furtherance of your attitude toward any of our employees, you can be certain your next job will be standing in line at welfare.  I hope we understand each other."  Her apology came quickly.  I nodded in her direction, told her I appreciate her willingness to make the necessary changes, and am confident that this can be a great working partnership.  I then walked out of her office, winked at my receptionist, and sat down at my desk.  Her boss, who also happens to be my boss, called me ten minutes later laughing.  He said that it was about time someone put that woman in her place.

 

I am confident that we can work together.  I am confident that she will realize that humility is a very important asset for anyone....and I am hopeful that our office will soon be a fantastic place for all of our employees to want to be.  Now...getting back to love.

 

I went two years without working with people one on one.  I wrote a book, published it, started another one, contracted public speaking engagements, but I've been out of one on one service for sometime.  I didn't realize how much I missed it.  Human Services is in my soul.  People, all people, deserve to be shown what true love is.  Honesty, integrity, a swift kick in the butt when you need it, and a hand up when your down....respectfully given...love.

 

There is an individual that receives services from our facility.  I'll call him Adam.  Adam speaks very little english, and lives in a group home for individuals with mind-health challenges.  (Mental Illness).  Adam is a very respectful person, and has been afraid to speak his mind to much of the staff that works there because he's been treated very badly.  I sat down with him the other day and asked him about his day, his family, how he feels about our facility, and then patted him on the back when he finally opened up to me.  It was only a few minutes before our staff meeting, and being the one running the meeting, I entered a bit late.  Following right behind me was none other than Adam.  I asked him to come in and to sit right next to me.  I then told the staff that they were about to receive hands on training in human services.  I asked Adam to repeat what he had told me in front of the staff, and he did.  Broken English and all. 

"Yes, mum, thank you, mum.  Yesterday Alice told me that I was not allowed to have lunch because I lost my cup.  Max said that I was going to die young.  Sally told me that I have to leave and not come back, and Stuart said that he will make sure I get kicked out because I told you this yesterday.  Mum, please mum, I like coming here.  I won't do any of these things again, if you say I can come tomorrow.  Paul told me that I have to eat my poop...mum...sorry...mum...he said."  He couldn't continue because he thought he was going to get in trouble for telling me this in front of them.  "Mum...my father told me that I have to be nice all of the time, mum...but I didn't feel very nice when they said these things to me."

 

I smiled at Adam with tears in my eyes and watched the room for fallout.

 

The staff was stunned.  Three of them looked like they were going to have a massive coronary, and the other five looked like they were about to fall out of their chairs.    In front of the staff, I handed Adam some index cards that said, "You're a meanie" and instructed him to hand it to anyone that treated him disrespectfully in anyway.  He promised that he would.

 

Adam smiled, the staff choked, and the next day the other 150 people that receive services from our facility started chatting.  Staff started talking to each other, and I saw a transformation take place before my very eyes.

 

LOVE...

 

It's for everyone.

 

Reviews

[Spoken]

I am in awe of the impact you've made a conscience effort to put forth. Unfortunately people need wake up calls on love and the fact that you are stepping out there and showing people what it is really about says something about your character. You are beautiful and I certainly appreciate you! Glad your back :)

[Jet Lag]

love is for everyone. let's spread it, shall we?

[Dezaraye]

I'm always thinking about what love is. I drive my Mama insane analyzing and wondering. It's such a wonderous emotion, but so misunderstood by so many. I like the way you look at this and approach it.

[Dezaraye]

I'm always thinking about what love is. I drive my Mama insane analyzing and wondering. It's such a wonderous emotion, but so misunderstood by so many. I like the way you look at this and approach it.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Love is certainly not something we do but something we feel... there are many levels of love though many take advantage of that word... love is in your actions and can be felt without a sound... what a powerful write that makes you think deeply.

[bluessadmood]

My God,this is surely about love.
Yes society is so stupid...when you told the poor girl how much you appreciate her,she cried and smiled and said no one ever said that to her before,and after she left,you cried and i cried too,THAT IS LOVE...
I will come to Adam now,i am sure someone treated so badly how to teach and train how to deal with people,THIS IS ALSO LOVE...
I just wished you let us hear the speech he delivered to your staff,it would be great ,and a lovely ending,AND THIS WOULD BE LOVE TOO...
this is the best work i have ever read in weeks,i was really touched..
if you decided to write a series about love,please let me know to get a copy ,i know i am in iraq1000s of miles away ,my brother in Canada will gets us both 2 copies ,wonderful work really...

[Jenny Davis]

Love has MORE power than anything in this world...you can't buy it, you can't see it, but ahhh you can surely feel it! This was a WONDERFUL example of love in motion...Great story :)

[Robert Luna]

Life is so much that is never seen or understood. Life is exactly what we make it out to be. I enjoyed your deeply personal look at a few of the things that life means to you. You heart seems to have a purity that seeks for something more than what it has known. The way you tell your stories are so involving to a read as well dwell with in the words to a point we see beyond them as a scene comes to life.


Great Job!!!!!!!!!

[George Love]

An excellent write, including a conscious effort to show the many sides of love and reality. Great stuff!

[Constance]

There is one thing about your piece that bothers me... and that is this... many times, if you are an attractive blonde, people will ASSUME you are a b***h and ugly on the inside. It's true. Your work is seen as valueless, etc. Female coworkers will talk behind your back about how "she only got hired for her looks, etc". And bosses know this, so it also makes it harder to find a job. Maybe this woman wasn't always that way. Maybe she just got tired of people expecting her to be so and she became what she was "supposed to be"?
I do love the story of your receptionist though, and I respect very much the work that you do. Thank you for sharing so candidly in this short story. Much appreciated, and much enjoyed.
C

[A.J. Smith]

Great piece! I hope you keep this to include in your next book...maybe about the important role of love (tough and otherwise) in human services leadership. Thank you for sharing.