chapter four pt. one

 

June 7, 1984

 

"Heaven's to Connery!  Did you see that queen Victoria that just left my shop?" He shouted as we whipped in through the front door.  Maggie was working the front desk and couldn't help but laugh out loud at the irony.  

"What is it now?" Joan blustered as she put the finishing touches on the hem of a pair of trousers.

"And just WHAT are you laughing at little miss thing?" he turned toward Maggie as he mocked exasperation.  "You could use a bit of ‘Queening’ yourself!"  

 

His eyes widened as if he had just had an epiphany, and exaggerating every word,  said  "Oh! Of course” continuing even slower, “you MUST be Maggie..." 

His voice trailed as he walked toward the back of the shop, looking down his nose at her as he passed by.

There weren't any customers in the shop at the moment and curiosity had her by the toenails, so Maggie followed this highly feminine man back towards her mother's sewing machines.  He was like something out of a theatrical nightmare.  His hands were at his sides as if floating on clouds as his hips swayed more than Marilyn Monroe’s in "How to Marry a Millionaire".  Come to think of it, she thought, his voice was just as wispy.  She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she passed through the curtain that separated the back from the front of the shop.

"How do you know my name?"  Maggie asked still chuckling.

"Don't laugh at ME, Miss Thing; you need a make over like Joan Collins needs collagen."  

Joan looked at them both and sighed loudly.  "Keith Alderman, this is my daughter, Maggie."  He looked her up and down slowly from head to toe and said, with as much flair as he could muster, "It's nice to finally meet you, MAGGIE."  Mocked disdain dripped from every word.  

"Great" Maggie thought to herself, “another one of mother's eccentric friends." 

Remembering her manners, she replied with matching sarcasm, "It's nice to meet you too, KEITH ALDERMAN."   Turning toward Joan as if he didn't hear her reply he sat down in the chair quickly, arms flailing about.  

"MY GAWD... I have GOT to tell you about this Queen Victoria..." he said as dramatically as possible.  "You would not BELEEEEEEVE what he had the nerve to say to me!"  

Not able to help herself Maggie interjected "What?  You've got Betty Davis eyes?" 

Keith looked like something out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  No lingerie, but his lips were ruby red, his eyes were lined like crayons in eye-liner and mascara, and he was dressed in a smoking jacket and a pair tight fitting jeans.  Painted on jeans, would be a more accurate description.

"Very funny.  You would do yourself some good to wear a bit of eye make-up yourself missy!"  he retorted. He rolled his eyes and continued. "Anyway, there I am sipping my morning tea...you know how I am...and all of this sudden, this flaming queen comes into my shop and says...are you ready for this... ‘Excuse me, but do you have any clothes without moth holes?’  His face flushed red as he continued.  "MOTH HOLES?!  MOTH H O L E S??  Excuse ME honey, but I run a very classy establishment here.  You won't find anything but the best of used clothing here."

Maggie busted out laughing. "Did you say MOTH or MOSS?" 

Knowing full well that she was going to hear it from her mother later, she figured she might as well have as much fun with him as she could.  Her mother gave her a glaring look and said curtly "Maggie, don't you have something to do up front?  I think I just heard the bell."

She shook her head and said "Yeah, whatever.  I'll leave you two girls to your gossip" and she quickly made her escape.

Author's Note

I didn't realize that Keith Oberman is the name of an actual person....a television talk-show personality. I had to change Keith's last name. Sorry if this has caused confusion.

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

Ooh I will scratch your eyes out this is sooo good, I hate you. From the character that is as camp as a row of pink tents to the subtle joy of calling him Oberman. Well, I just about wet myself at that. Oberman, does that mean he is the one on top? titter! (Shoves the top of your arm)
Ahem, but seriously, an excellent piece of writing, my dear. And well worth the wait. strong in its construction and, (deep voice) elegant in its writing quality. (Loud clearing of throat and much butchness)

[Arthur Henn]

Smiling all the way through this. You are so good with your characters, a gift, all your characters have a quality that stands out from each other in a wonderful way.

This is moving right along nicely!

Art

[Dezaraye]

Lol ... this chapter had me rolling. Funny, funny stuff. Just a suggestion when you flash back, maybe at the first of the chapter you could use years or something so that the reader doesn't get lost.