Fear

..how do we love?

Fear...where does it come from?

Having been the recent subject of prejudice and viciousness, the only thing I really want to impart to everyone is that unless you have walked inside someone else's shoes...whether two steps or one hundred miles, you have no way to know what their life has been like. Not knowing someone else's life also removes your right to judge them for any reason.

Not even I, after having sustained quite a hard hit recently want to judge the individual that has attempted to make my life ... difficult. I wish for her the best and more than anything I wish for her peace. It is only when we do not have peace in our lives that we feel the need to pass on our own misery.

If there is one thing that I can pass on to you at this moment, it would be to say that if you can understand a person's actions, then you can forgive them...without prejudice or reason to hold their actions against them. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ANYONE...SMILE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY...AND ALWAYS WISH YOUR ENEMIES WELL. It is not for your enemy's benefit to do so, but for your own.

LOVE ALL.
HATE NONE.
CHOOSE PEACE.

I have found that fear drives us to do many things that normally we would not do.  What is it that we fear?  I think as social creatures, the biggest fear that every human being has is fear of being alone.  That fear, however, also drives us to do and say things that continue to keep others away.

My husband and I share a woman in our lives.  His sister.  Over the last months, she has read many things that I have written, both from my heart and artistically as a writer, and has twisted and taken those things out of context for the express purpose of turning my husband against me.  For the last months, I tried to figure out why she would do such things.  

Recently, it hit me.  She is really no different than anyone else including myself when it comes to our reactions to fear.  What she hasn't realized is that through her recent behavior she has only served to isolate herself further from those she loves.

I asked myself, what can I take from this?  What can I learn? 

LOVE.  Love is the only thing strong enough to conquer fear.  In the face of adversity whether that adversity is self inflicted or inflicted by someone else, love is the only thing that can overcome it.  Love is a choice not a feeling.  It is the act of putting yourself aside for someone else.  Love is what makes those few marriages so successful.  It is what gives long lasting friendships the element they need to survive.  It is what keeps siblings close and prevents the rivalry.  Love.   Selfless, caring, seeing-through-the-smoke-screen and offering edification rather than pain no matter what you see before you in that other person kind of love.

When we are fearful we have a tendancy to pull that fear in close and lash out at the people we truly don't want to hurt. 

Why?

I've had to take an honest look at the things surrounding me lately and I realized that I am no different than my sister in law who tries so hard to put a wedge between my husband and I.  I'm not talking about the vindictive nature...I'm only talking about the fear/love thing.  I, too, have done some pretty off the wall and hurtful things to those I care about the most.   Even recently.  Not on purpose, of course...but they happened just the same. 

The saying "If you love something set it free..." is so very true.  However, as human beings, we allow our fear of that thing not returning to govern our behaviors as opposed to loving that "thing" enough to trust that it/they love us too.  We want to control ... as opposed to let things just be as they are.

I choose from this moment to not allow fear get in the way of the person I know I am and was born to be.  Loving.  Caring.  Supportive...and not the least of these, accepting.

Think about it.  Let me know what you think.  I think if we could all try to let go of that which we fear the most, we might find that we sleep better, eat better, and absolutely LOVE better.

Author's Note

I changed my WC name, locked all my writings....and then realized. Fear is paralyzing. I am me, and it is I that has to be ok with myself. Regardless....

Reviews

[Jenny Davis]

You are soo brave, dear. I commend you for writing this and realize that it must have taken EVERYTHING you have to overcome your fear. I agree with everything you say here as love DOES conquer all and the fact that you choose to forgive her and be who you are speaks volumes about you as a person. I invite you to read this tonight on Vent Radio...it's definitely food for thought and a GREAT vent! :)

[Rain]

There is so much wisdom in this piece, but there is also an issue of reality humans have to deal with. You describe what should be, and you have to butt that up against somethings that are human nature. I agree we would be a better world if we all could see life like you do and follow your path. The reality is, there are people who will use that philosophy against you. You show us how it's done in this piece, and it is both wise and truthful, but putting it in play is another thing. I consider myself to be kind, forgiving, non vindictive, without envy or jealousy...still, I know I have certain lines that if you cross I view it as using me, and I won't (can't) allow it.
For instance... Character. If I feel you are demeaning me or trying to make me look evil, or deceptive, I can't love and accept that. I would have to forget loving you. It's human nature to have certain areas in your life that you should protect. Your concept is beautiful. It's also a green light to some people to take advantage of. You make me wish the world would be like you. This piece really makes you think. I loved it. Rain..

[Fran Marie]

Words of wisdom,Susi.within this well crafted write~ Love does conquer all ~ to be sure and
it is so important to forgive those who have cause you pain~and move on with your
life~ very well expressed and well penned~Fran

[Dezaraye]

I really like this write. It's honest and thought provoking. This is something I'm struggling with right now in my life. Being able to love someone enough to trust that she loves me, too. It's hard when the fear creeps in and tells me that she would leave me foreve ... on one level, I know that she loves me enough to always be there and always be my best friend ... but on another level, I'm not sure that I can know that ... thanks for writing this, it makes me realize that I'm not alone and that I'm understood.

[George Love]

Very honest, very open and very well done.

[MrJodie]

Such an open, honest write. You've seen my stuff and can appreciate why I'd be so moved by something like this.

Fear. What a huge subject and you tackled it with grace and poise. Bravo. Fear isn't just that "expectation of danger or harm" that they talk about in the dictionary. It's also the feeling that somehow that danger or harm is something we deserve. Many don't see that pain in the hearts of those doing them harm. You did and do. Bless you for being the enlightened, loving, caring soul you are. It really shows in the introspective nature of this piece and I love it.

Love and light, dear one.
~ Jodie