Fear

..how do we love?

Fear...where does it come from?

Having been the recent subject of prejudice and viciousness, the only thing I really want to impart to everyone is that unless you have walked inside someone else's shoes...whether two steps or one hundred miles, you have no way to know what their life has been like. Not knowing someone else's life also removes your right to judge them for any reason.

Not even I, after having sustained quite a hard hit recently want to judge the individual that has attempted to make my life ... difficult. I wish for her the best and more than anything I wish for her peace. It is only when we do not have peace in our lives that we feel the need to pass on our own misery.

If there is one thing that I can pass on to you at this moment, it would be to say that if you can understand a person's actions, then you can forgive them...without prejudice or reason to hold their actions against them. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ANYONE...SMILE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY...AND ALWAYS WISH YOUR ENEMIES WELL. It is not for your enemy's benefit to do so, but for your own.

LOVE ALL.
HATE NONE.
CHOOSE PEACE.

I have found that fear drives us to do many things that normally we would not do.  What is it that we fear?  I think as social creatures, the biggest fear that every human being has is fear of being alone.  That fear, however, also drives us to do and say things that continue to keep others away.

My husband and I share a woman in our lives.  His sister.  Over the last months, she has read many things that I have written, both from my heart and artistically as a writer, and has twisted and taken those things out of context for the express purpose of turning my husband against me.  For the last months, I tried to figure out why she would do such things.  

Recently, it hit me.  She is really no different than anyone else including myself when it comes to our reactions to fear.  What she hasn't realized is that through her recent behavior she has only served to isolate herself further from those she loves.

I asked myself, what can I take from this?  What can I learn? 

LOVE.  Love is the only thing strong enough to conquer fear.  In the face of adversity whether that adversity is self inflicted or inflicted by someone else, love is the only thing that can overcome it.  Love is a choice not a feeling.  It is the act of putting yourself aside for someone else.  Love is what makes those few marriages so successful.  It is what gives long lasting friendships the element they need to survive.  It is what keeps siblings close and prevents the rivalry.  Love.   Selfless, caring, seeing-through-the-smoke-screen and offering edification rather than pain no matter what you see before you in that other person kind of love.

When we are fearful we have a tendancy to pull that fear in close and lash out at the people we truly don't want to hurt. 

Why?

I've had to take an honest look at the things surrounding me lately and I realized that I am no different than my sister in law who tries so hard to put a wedge between my husband and I.  I'm not talking about the vindictive nature...I'm only talking about the fear/love thing.  I, too, have done some pretty off the wall and hurtful things to those I care about the most.   Even recently.  Not on purpose, of course...but they happened just the same. 

The saying "If you love something set it free..." is so very true.  However, as human beings, we allow our fear of that thing not returning to govern our behaviors as opposed to loving that "thing" enough to trust that it/they love us too.  We want to control ... as opposed to let things just be as they are.

I choose from this moment to not allow fear get in the way of the person I know I am and was born to be.  Loving.  Caring.  Supportive...and not the least of these, accepting.

Think about it.  Let me know what you think.  I think if we could all try to let go of that which we fear the most, we might find that we sleep better, eat better, and absolutely LOVE better.

Author's Note

I changed my WC name, locked all my writings....and then realized. Fear is paralyzing. I am me, and it is I that has to be ok with myself. Regardless....

Reviews

[Jenny Davis]

You are soo brave, dear. I commend you for writing this and realize that it must have taken EVERYTHING you have to overcome your fear. I agree with everything you say here as love DOES conquer all and the fact that you choose to forgive her and be who you are speaks volumes about you as a person. I invite you to read this tonight on Vent Radio...it's definitely food for thought and a GREAT vent! :)

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

A nice article and I think you express yourself well. Fear as the subject is a good topic. Relating from personal situations ties you to your readers. Not giving into fear is also a good bit of advice.

Doc.

[Arthur Henn]

Susi, you are an amazing woman and a strong beautiful soul of what the true meaning of a soul means. Yes you are a true humanitarian.

What you have written touches the heart. I can not stop thinking of what you wrote here. With your permission I would like to copy this part, print it and keep it in my wallet at all times.

I asked myself, what can I take from this? What can I learn?

LOVE. Love is the only thing strong enough to conquer fear. In the face of adversity whether that adversity is self inflicted or inflicted by someone else, love is the only thing that can overcome it. Love is a choice not a feeling. It is the act of putting yourself aside for someone else. Love is what makes those few marriages so successful. It is what gives long lasting friendships the element they need to survive. It is what keeps siblings close and prevents the rivalry. Love. Selfless, caring, seeing-through-the-smoke-screen and offering edification rather than pain no matter what you see before you in that other person kind of love.

When we are fearful we have a tendancy to pull that fear in close and lash out at the people we truly don't want to hurt.

Why?

Art

[Candle in the wind]

It has sparked off so many thoughts. I don't know what to say. It is great that you have risen above fear and pain and found a core of truth. I pray for the same strength.God bless you.Thank for ssharing your insight and reaching out.

[Michael X]

Your words speak valumes and touch the heart at the same time in way of realization-draws the reader
to realize things within their own circumstances- its brilliant-this would be a great topic to write
a book focuced on. there is an overwhelming sense of aweareness entwining the meaning-to find
understanding in light of focus and courage-i love how you bring it all togther-This was a pleasure to read-thanks

[Robert Luna]

This is such a powerfully self examining. It was a pleasure to be able to hear you read this personally. I ma so glad that you shared this with us on the air. You message is so truthful and honest. If you are able to step away from yourself and see that it is your own fear and the fear of another is causing a situation to become something that is volatile and condemning to both parties involved. I think it show personal strength and wisdom. I find that inspirational and wonderful to witness.


Well Done!!!!!!

[Roger Ferguson II]

it takes a strong person to see things from another's point, and even stronger one to face their fears.
this is a very beautiful write!

[BrightEyes]

I agree that sometimes fear is paralyzing - but I also have to go with Rain in that there are those that can't be loved and accepted. I don't think that really has to do with the fear part of it however. You are a courageous soul and I loved this write. You can only be you - and hope that those who wish you harm grow weary of the game or move on.

*hugs*

laura

[Ken Simm.]

When someone loses pride in themselves they look for the easiest target that is close. You are quite correct the shots are often aimed at themselves if they but admit it. When someone as sensitive as you is the apparent target it hurts. It hurts so much in two ways, one the insensitivity of the other and two, the inevitable or eventual feeling of troubled compassion that comes along. That the target can release that is to their benefit and gain. The giver of the hurt cannot release it to their own chagrin.

[An owl on the moon]

If we are to venture past the borders of our locked homes and go out to those in need and want, we will surely face fearful things. Thank you for the encouragement that such an adventure is worth the cost for love cannot be contained in locked boxes. You are inspiring to me!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

You went so deep into your feelings and pulled out what is in all of us but don't want to admit... when you own up to your own faults you admit your human and there is nothing wrong with that... you also made so many great points, mostly that we must kill fear with kindness. A Great hunamitarian write.