When you Say You Love Me

...what does it mean?

When you say you love me...

I see the words floating above
surrounded by cotton-like clouds
for a moment, I believe in love

and then they fall

annihilation certain without refrain
for movements of arms and eyes and words
so full of anger that drip with disdain

they cover the air 

like an inpenetrable sheet of polluting smog
they enter my lungs and eyes as i breathe
in a state of confusion I'm left in a fog

that confines me

to the spot upon which I stand
unable to move or float or fall
just waiting for the next demand

to pierce my heart

and force me to breathe
in the toxic remains of seething rage
that paralyze me unable to leave

When you say you love me...

I shudder to think
what destruction would come
were you on the brink

of hating me.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

It has become a truism to say that the line between love and hate, as the line between sanity and not, is very thin ans elastic. Yet in another sense there is a world of difference. some things are never meant to be defined and yet we strain for ever to do just that.
This is not love, this is a selfish wish to posess. This that he speaks. That is why she feels choked and constricted. When he says he loves her he is really saying he wants her.
This is a very visual poem in that I can see the words drawn out and changing colour as they are spoken. This poem should be acted as it is written. I feel this is a collage of thoughts of a poem.

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Wow. I had to read this like three times to get a handle on it...wow. The emotions that have soaked into me from reading it are so intense, I can feel my blood popping like water coming to a slow rolling boil...
WOW. Powerful write. Very good job!

[Dezaraye]

This piece is so heartwrenching. It is so sad that love can be so dysfunctional like this. Your words really pack a punch and it's a very powerful write. I like the format with the three line stanzas and the one line breakaway. It's really affective. Nice writing!

[R J Askew]

Very strong...great images and a profound sadness. There's the dream here's reality. The contrast between the two it total. The notion of breathing in the fog that contains you underscores the impotance you feel in the cruel situation you find yourself in. 'The toxic remains of seething rage' is the strongest part for me, that and the sense of foreboding if the professed love turns to something else. It's a well executed poem, a short jab that does its job without embellishment. Clear as a bell.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

How quickly these three little words (I love you) can be turned into a weapon for abuse, when emphasis is placed on an element of self-directed sexual desire. Relationships should be based of mutual and unconditional commitments.

Hauntingly beautiful composition of quality status.

God's Blessing
Phillozofee

[Legion]

It is interesting how some people (most that I have come across) percieve love to be a state of possession when you cut through all the glittery opening moments. Good piece as traumatic as it may be. Kudos.

[The Rose That Grew From..]

Good poem i liked it

[Robert Luna]

This to me speaks of abuse from the mind of the abused and misused. The words I love you right before the big bang of violence that swarms in like locus destroying everything in it path. But the abused sees it in a different light a different way. Often blaming themselves for this event or way of life. Becoming brain washed into believing this is just the way it is. But quickly the abuser utters those words trying to smooth everything out know a little I am sorry and a flash of charm often cover the beating of verbal abuse that is received.


Well Done!!!!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

They say there is a fine line between love and hate... it is scary to think how some people that love us tend to treat us... you confusion in understanding this human condition is written with poetic beauty.

[An owl on the moon]

Such a haunting revelation of what so many experience today in our culture that tends to blend love with narcisicm. This lies at the depth and power of your work, because it connects through so many strands to the relationships many suffer through in the name of love. Awesome write...

[L.G. Knight]

This is so amazing.... I had a love that this poem remings me of.... well not really a love just a guy who wanted me to be there for his every whim like I was a faithful puppy or something.... this truly hits home with alot of people I feel and with such awesome flow and rhyme happening and not one flaw that I could find I think this poem is destined for great things! Nicely Done!

~Frances~