Notify The Sandman That He's Not On My Data Plan

"I tried to be funny"-a book by me when I couldn't sleep

A little glowing screen lights up the night.
The little face squints and grunts to the bright;
"Ow, God, it's 2am, f**k, my eyes..."
A quick swipe up lowers the shine,
So they can more easily waste valuable slumber time.

Twitter greets with calming blue hues,
"All these SJWs crying boo hoo,
What happened to cat videos for me to look through?"
My timeline is all Trump and vegans and s**t,
Nuclear war on the horizon and here the president sits,
Waiting to get mad at the SNL bits.

Let's go on to Facebook, at least he's not there.
Again with the blue, conspiracy theorists beware.
Scrolling through friends memes about Trump,
"When will the CIA give him the ol Kennedy bump?"
At least there's more videos of cats here I guess?
"Buzzfeed: White Cats in Black Cat Neighbourhood; Needed Bulletproof Vests!"
Sensationalist media fosters division,
The cats haughty nature lends to their clearly apparent derision.

YouTube next for some fails and some wins...
Oh they've only gone and changed the layout again!
"Finally a fail video I haven't seen, huzzah! But seriously;
Why do all car crashes happen in Russia?"
Maybe some light cafe jazz to help drift off...
Nope! Interrupted by a loud ad screaming for Schwartzkopf...

Over to Instragram to scroll and indiscriminately double tap.
Why is everyone so beautiful and fit, goddamn.
Here I lie on my side, squinty eyed, resting my phone on my arm fat.
While these Adonises flex and party and live it up like a some nocturnal playboy bats.
Yeah screw that, "I don't need this", I hiss.
I turn turtle, close the app and return once more to my now long overdue nap.

I dream of anything but blue and try to count the sheep.
And ignore the fact that my email just went with a neglected beep.
S**t, I really can't sleep....
Maybe just one more peep....