Tears

I wrote this for sophie's contest, but i was actually gonna write this anyways. sadly, this had just happened to me...

No

two words

that mean so much

when they are told to you

 

this is what you told me

when I asked you

 

All that I wanted

 was to be with him

to see him

to be near to him

 

and you said it so plainly

without caring at all

 

No

 

It broke my heart

I was shattered

I watched as you walked away

 

I ran after you

all that I asked

was why

 

you said

 that you didnt trust him

that you wouldn't trust him

 

I then told you

but if you don't trust him

then you don't trust me

 

you turned around then

you looked at me

then you started yelling

 

You screamed at me

that i wasn't to go near him

I wasn't to see him

I couldn't be with him

 

You said that I couldn't 'love'

I didn't know how

or what it was

 

then you said the worst thing

you said

you didn't trust me

and fith that you walked away

 

I turned around

and ran to my room

 tears bluring my vision

I sat on my bed and wailed

 

for hours I wouldn't come out

I wouldn't stop crying

for him

 

These tears were for him

everything that i did

was for him

 

every smile

every hug

every laugh

every thought

every breath

was all for him

 

my undying love

my unknown love

my unyielding love

for him

 

tear after tear

fell that day

from my big brown eyes

 

for him

these were his tears

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please, Please, Please review! this came from my heart, my broken, loving,crying heart.

Reviews

[Rasputin]

I glanced at your profile. Being fourteen sucks because you can't go to the liquor store in a situation like this. However, it's also an advantage because you're still young. You'll forget about this bullshit soon enough. When you're that age, everything is the end of the world until you realize that it's really not. Anyway, good luck with all that.

[5minutesofcrazy]

Alright, this poem has alot going on. The intensity can be felt at a distance, and that's awesome. You're structure, I think, is working for you, though I'd like to see it adhered to a bit more. The emotions here are violently raw. You are throwing alot at the reader, and that's not a bad thing, but a bit more control of the emotions, I think, would help. You wrote this during the situation, and that's awesome. It's very powerful, and tightening the hinges would make it masterful. Releasing these raw emotions was very brave, and I truly thank you.

[Abbie]

thanks for reviewing u guys! ;) made me feel a bit better, well stop crying at least...

so anyhow,first off: thank you Rae Elizabeth and Amanda Faulkner glad you guys think that it was beautiful and sad at the same time, cuz it sure was sad going thru it.

Second: thank you Bethany Cullen glad that you thought it was a good write and that the emotion reached out to you.

thirdly:Rasputin given the fact that I'm about 13(I'm not 14 BTW so are u 14???) it really does suck that i cant go there in a situation like this.and as you said, i will eventually get over this....i hope. I'll still be mad at my mom until Saturday, cuz that was when me and him were supposed to hit the town and get some pizza and whatnot. and thanks for the luck, maybe ill beg her again tomorrow....

Fourthly:glad that you think that my writing is wonderful. also glad that you think that i did a good job on expressing my heart, cuz trust me, this is seriously how I'm feeling. and your welcome for the share.

fithly: than you Archia, I'm glad that you liked the poem and the first stanza especially. It took about 3 minutes to come up with the poem cause i already knew what i wanted to say, but a good 45 seconds to a minute were spent on the first stanza. I needed something to start what i was feeling.

Sixthly: thank you 5minutesofcrazy for thinking that the 'intensity can be felt from a distance, and that's awesome'. I'm glad you liked the structure of my poem and i was thinking that i should group it up more, tho i wasn't sure, and I'm still not.

so thanks for reviewing guys! ;) hope that more people review, and uh....HI!(random much?!?!)

[Archia]

Ohhh, I loved the emotiones that came through in this. I really liked the first stanza, it was like it hd its own flow.

[Angelic Surrender]

This is wonderful and so sad. You did a great job on this one at expressing your heart. Thank you so much for sharing.

[bethany cullen]

that give off such an emotion as your heart really reaches out and grasps the true meaning. xx good write x

[MandaBear]

i agree with Rae Beautifully sad... (:

[Rae Elizabeth]

So much raw emotion... Beautifully sad... (: