Do You See Me?

this is a poem that just kinda came to me...... I just sorta started thinking.

Hello?
I'm standing here. 
Right here!
Why can't you notice me?
Why cant you help me?
Why cant you save me?

Do you see me?
I am here.
I'm waiting for someone,
to notice me,
to help me,
to save me.

You can't see me.
to you,
I am invisible.
I don't exist.


Or can you see me,
but try not to.
can you see how I need help,
but won't offer a hand.
can you see how I need saving,
But won't call that number.
911.
 
I have gone insane,
but you couldn't tell.
 I had made sure of that.
It looked like all is well.

but now you see the real me
the troubled, lost me.
And you have to understand,
the position that I am in.

 I am in trouble
 I need help!
I thought I could do it on my own!
But I cant!
I can't survive one more day!
You are my last hope!

You could help me,
If you wanted to.
But you don't want to.
I know that you don't,
 but I don't understand,
WHY?


I will end this.
I will end me.
I will give in to those voices.
If you cant help me,
If you can't save me,
If you can't see me.

Please.
Please.
Tell me!
Do you see me?

Author's Note

if you don't get the poem it is about a a girl who has gone insane. who needs help (because the voices in her head are telling her to end her life) so badly, that she will kill herself if she doesn't get help. She is trying to find some one that understands (because she doesn't) who can see what is happening. nobody has seen it so far, but she goes to one last person... So tell me if you liked it.PLEASE rate and Review! I'd love to know what you think of it!

Reviews

[Caradoc]

Wow.

This is a very intense piece. I think that you convey your message very well. Though it could just as easily be a guy who narrates the poem. That's the thing about insanity and desperation. They aren't gender exclusive.

Nice write.

-Caradoc

[EileenMarie]

Great! Easy to feel what your trying to get across. Great poem. Good work

[MandaBear]

Wow. Interesting poem, excellent job! No weakness in this excellent poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good description of need and desperation. I like the desire to be seen and helps in the words. The poem got more desperate and stronger with each additional line. No weakness in this excellent poem.
Coyote

[❀ Gabriela ..]

Wow. Interesting poem, excellent job!

[jennifer little]

wonderful work keep it up i loved this work thanks for sharing this on here great job

[Angelic Surrender]

I liked this a lot. It's a great poem :) I think you told the story wonderfully

[Jane Doe]

hey abbie,
i really like it. its a good piece to start your career off of:)
im not that great myself
but you should never explain what its about :P its for the reader to interupret their own way
:D but its a really good start(: you got potential

～a
100/100
p.s remember you will always have haters girl ;)

[hopelessromantic]

i really like this i feel that way sometimes

[December Blaize]

I actually like how you didn't specify in the poem who the person she goes to for help is. It leaves it open to the reader's imagination, which is the place where poems thrive best. Even though the poem tells a story, the reader (at least I) can relate by filling in the blanks of the person who doesn't see with someone from their own life.