Chapter One : Going to Graduation

chapter one of my book! Yay! All the characters in the first chapter are angels BTW. Main character's name is Raven. Hope you like!

Raven P.O.V.

 

     "HEY! Wake up Raven! We're having our guardian graduation today! Get Up or else Professor G. will get angry when you miss your graduation!", my best friend Mira called from my window,"Don't make me fly up there Raven, I'm warning you! Now get your wings out of bed!"

    

     "I'm getting up! No need to get your wings in a twist!", I grumbled, sitting up in bed turning my head to her. " You do want me to get ready right?" she shook her head yes "Well, then get away from my window, go downstairs, and get breakfast ready for us while I get dressed."

    

     "Okay! do you want pancakes or waffles? And do you want orange juice or Cranberry juice?", She said gleefully.

    

     "Can I have Crepes and apple juice? I bought the Crepe mix and apple juice yesterday while you were on your afternoon fly. I knew how much you like crepes and decided that we could have them today."

    

     "'Kay!",she replied and just like that she was gone. 

    

     Getting out of bed i walked over to my bureau and grabbed my plain white dress. Getting out of my nightgown I slipped on my dress. Then I walked over to my vanity and took a seat. Opening the drawer I grabbed my silver hairbrush. After I was done brushing my long silvery/white hair I grabbed one of my ribbons and tied it around my neck to hide my scars there. Then I grabbed four more and tied them around my wrists and ankles to cover my other scars.

    

     Lesson one on angels: when you die, you keep the scars of how you died. So if you got shot in the head and died,then as an angel you would hove a scar there in the shape of a bullet.

     I have scars on my neck, ankles, and wrists because my throat, wrists, and ankles were slashed when I died even though they weren't the cause of my death. I was actually killed by the knife that i was stabbed with in the center of my chest. I still have the stab wound right in the middle of my stomach.

     Looking in the mirror, I fixed all my clothing the right way. After I fixed the last ribbon I decided that I looked decent enough for graduation and walked downstairs.

     Lesson two on angels: angels can retract their wings, no matter what you've heard. We can open or close them on command. All we have to do is think of them opening or closing and they do.

     "Mmmmm.That smells delicious Mira! You really are a good cook!", I exclaimed walking into the kitchen. She cooks and does 'wake up' and in return I help with her flying and let her come over to my house at any time.

     "Thanks! I'm glad that someone likes my cooking", she said twirling around causing her ginger hair to swirl in the air. Then she started to dance all around my kitchen.Sophorah once told me that before she had developed cancer and died that she used to go to dance school. She knows so many kinds of dance, from hip hop to ballet to modern to ballroom, she knows them all. Mira tried to teach me how to dance once. Lets just say that it didn't end well.

     " Just be careful that you don't-crack- "break anything. Before I look how bad is it?", I asked keeping my eyes shut tight. This happens all the time. She dances, she breaks something, she says sorry, then when I finally forget about, it she starts to dance and accidentally breaks something else and the cycle repeats. It's just a vicious cycle.

     "I promise to fix the tea set once we get our full guardian powers." she says quickly

     Lesson three on angels: once an angel becomes a guardian angel, they are allowed to use there full powers. All angels already have their powers, but they get in trouble if the don't pass graduation first.All you have to do is pass and then you can fix any problem or mess with the snap of your fingers. Some angels can have exceptional powers. It is also said that if an angel falls and becomes a fallen angel then they get to use their powers and they get some extra powers, but no angel has ever become a fallen angel before so this is just a guess.

     " Which tea set?", I sighed unhappily, my eyes still closed.

    " The diamond encrusted one", she said softly.

     " You're right.", I opened my eyes,"you will be fixing that when we get home from graduation" I said kind of irritated, even though I tried my best to keep my cool and still sound my age.

     Lesson four on angels: When you die, you keep your age that you were when you died, but if an angel is over eighty-seven, then the angel in you dies and you become human. When you become a guardian angel, if the person that you were over looking dies, you become reborn. That's how the world stays populated. I died when I was seventeen. Mira died when she was fifteen.

 

     "the crepes are ready by the way", Mira says trying to clean up the mess and move it aside to be fixed later." I'll grab the stuff out of the fridge if you grab the rest! 'Kay?"

 

     " Okay." I moved over to the shelf to grab two of my china plates, forks,knives,napkins, and crystal cups."Where are we eating? In the dinning room, outside on the patio, or on the three season porch?"

 

     " Dining room, please.", she replied and placed the syrup and juice on the table," I love the chandelier above the table. it is really cool!"

 

     " Oh! Thank you! It took a lot of hard work to get enough money for that." I replied sitting down at the table. I'm not rich or anything, but i do have a good paying job at the musical incorporation. I come up with songs and they become real songs on earth. Whatever the singers get paid on earth, I get half of what they get. right now I just finished my new song "smile" which took me a few weeks.I got a LOT of money for it.

 

     " Pass the crepes please." she asked politely. I passed the crepes to her and then she asked," What do you think we have to do at guardian graduation? Don't we have to take a test or something?"

 

     "Well", I began filling my cup with apple juice. Mmmmmmmm apple juice...."if you went to the meetings like you were supposed to,then you would know what happens", I sighed," But as always you don't like to go so I have to tell you. Yes there is a test. But it is different for everyone. I imagine it's easy, considering that nobody has ever failed before. So once we pass the test they give us our diplomas, give us a person to watch over and then we go on our merry way, that simple."

    

     After that we ate in silence for about an hour. When we were done I put away our plates. Then, noticing the time, I exclaimed, " Oh, gosh look at the time! We'll be late for our graduation!" I grabbed her arm, yanking her out of the Dinning room.

     " Owwww! Raven, your hurting meeeee",she wailed as I pulled her out of the door.

     I let go of her arm and stopped, once we were out on my yard/cloud.

 

     Lesson five on angels: angels live in clouds. Each angel that has a house,because not all do(like Mira), has their own cloud. I happen to live on a black thunder cloud.When you humans see clouds move that is because we angels are flying off of our clouds causing them to move. And let me tell you, it is really hard to try and find your cloud-house again after it has been moving all day. The only good thing is that the same kind of clouds always stick together.

     I snapped out my wings fast and started to fold my wings in and out, in and out, to get the flapping motion right. Mira did the same, searching for the right cloud.

     " There! Right next to Alexandria's cloud!", Mira said.

     " You mean the one way down there?", I asked looking at a small thunder cloud.

     " Yup. Hey, Raven do you want to fly down or jump down", Mira inquired turning to look over at the empty space of where I was previously standing. I don't know if she said anything after that because I was falling down, with my wings furled in, to the A.N.G.E.L. building.

     Lesson six on angels: each set of clouds has an A.N.G.E.L. building. A.N.G.E.L. stands for Administration of Naming Guardians for Everything Liable.

    "Hey! Your here! Come on! Testing starts any minute!" said professor M., as she rushed us inside.

    

 

   

    

Author's Note

This is my first chapter of my book "Save Me...Please...". The pic for this isn't mine, so don't sue me! This is as close as I could get for my image of Raven before she jumps onto the A.N.G.E.L. cloud on Google( you gotta just love Google images...) ANYWAYS, I hope you liked it! I can answer any questions you may have on this! Read, REVIEW, rate,enjoy!

Reviews

[Hester Vane]

This is good. The concept is good and leaves room for development. What i will say is, you dont have to tell the reader that the angels are going to a gradution straight away, or even that they are angals! Leave a bit of information back to give the reader a reason to want to read on. Also I spotted a bit of a grammartical error: This bit:
"I'm getting up! No need to get your wings in a twist!", I grumbled, sitting up in bed turning my head to her. " You do want me to get ready right?" she shook her head yes "Well, then get away from my window, go downstairs, and get breakfast ready for us while I get dressed."

Should read something like this:
"I'm getting up! No need to get your wings in a twist!", I grumbled, sitting up in bed and turning my head to Mira.
"You do want me to get ready right?" asked and Mira nodded in reply.
"Well, then get away from my window," I said, "go downstairs, and get breakfast ready for us while I get dressed."

I found i stumbled as i read this bit, so this is how i think it should read. But apart from that, great start.

[Amanda]

I really like this! On to the next chapter!

[luna11]

I like it so far, although there are one or two grammar mistakes.
Other than that it's good.
Well written
XD
xx

[TC Dunn]

Love angel stories. Great dialogue here... kept the story interesting, and I love Raven. Very cool character. Great job. Look forward to reading more.

[Sylvana]

There were a few minor errors but nothing too bad that it distracts the reader.
I like the whole idea of angels living in clouds. I remember my parents telling me that when I was little. I think a few parts could use a bit more description, but the character's personalities are bright and cheery, just how one would imagine angels.

[Abbie]

Thanks so much for being the first two people to read my first chapter Sophie and Archia! your reviews were very helpful and I appreciate that! :) I will try and describe the house a bit more, though it is actually more like a Victorian, mini mansion.... I hope to do that in the next chapter, or the one after that.... I don't know if angel stories differ, but I thought it would be even more original if I had my own rules for my own book. :P Thanks for pointing out my grammar mistakes, I will try to find them. And I will probably change '...it just repeats in a cycle. It's a vicious cycle.' to '... it just repeats. It's a vicious cycle.'Glad that u guys liked it and I hope that you continue reading my book! :)
~Abagail~

[Archia]

It looks like it could be going somewhere nicely. I like how you explained the different aspects of the angels because I know they differ from story to story so it's nice how it's clear from the beginning.
I think however, there are times when more description is needed. At times it's almost just like a list. Like, I know very little about Raven's actually house looks like (apart from it having a chandalier).
But, I like how you introduced the characters nicely. Keep it up.

[Sophie]

A few grammar issues here ans there, but hey, who am I to talk? Try to avoid repeated words, '...it just repeats in a cycle. It's a vicious cycle." You could replace one of those with circle or something.
On a happier less you're-making-me-feel-bad note, I