Chapter Five: The Story of What Happened

the story of how Gwendolyn got injured.

third person point of view

 Wednesday July 4, 2012

     The air was cold and crisp for a summer night in Newport, Rhode Island. The full moon shone down brightly, watching over the festivities. The stars sparkled like the sky was made of diamonds. The moon and the stars were not the only things that lit up the sky however. The sky blew up in bursts of magnificent colors as the bangs of fireworks echoed into the distance. There are easily a few hundred people watching this display of lights and color, but we are focusing on two very special people....

     " C'mon Hal! Lets goooooo!" begged Gwendolyn Demens, a fifteen year old girl with long, dark chocolate brown hair. Her vibrant blue eyes glistened in the light of the full moon.

     "I dunno about this Gwen." Said Gwendolyn's older brother, Hal Tamtua, in her adopted family. Hal's sandy blonde hair was blowing in the salty sea air.

     "It'll be fun!" Gwendolyn said excitedly. Her hair too was whip lashing all over the place in the night wind.

     "Jumping off the cliff walk... into the ocean... at night, sound like fun to you?" he asked, eyebrows raising. She may make it sound fun and easy, but it still sounded dangerous to him. She nodded her head eagerly. He sighed in defeat.

     " Fine! Lets go." he said."but be careful, we're on rocks by the ocean at night. They are bound to be slippery." Gwendolyn walked around the edge of the cliff they were on.

     " Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rocks are slippery, I get it. We'll be fine. see, the rocks aren't even slipper-" she began, until she slipped.

     Hal watched in horror as his beloved adopted sister fell off the cliff,tumbled down the cliff, and landed in the icy water below. He looked over the edge and at the area where his sister had fallen in. She was not coming up to the surface... but some blood was....

Author's Note

hey, sorry this is short-ish. :/ but any how, Hope you liked and please review! :D

Reviews

[MOON]

Good dialogue flowed and not too short

[Schyala]

Gwendolyn is spelled wrong in the second paragraph. Nice cliff hanger but this chapter is way too short, it's like a page in a regular book. Also, even though she falls theres no conflict and it could be a lot more descriptive. Try and take every line and make it a paragraph with description. Good job otherwise :)

[MandaBear]

very good :)

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

It was pretty short but that not really a bad thing in fact I think its a very good thinghere! it worked very well with the descriptions and dialogue

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

Excellent chapter!
Keep on the wonderful work!
100/100

[deepblue04]

This is neat, good job!

[Amanda]

I like it even though I only read Waking Up so far. Continue :)