Broken dream's

Sitting on broken hopes and dreams

Wondering if you see the same things

Do you see how I hate myself? 

My self-loathing  

Do you see how I watch your every move?

Looking for what could be a spark   

You fought so hard to have me and now,

Now that I am in your grasps

You for some unknown reason to me take a

Step back, Are you pushing me away

Do I disgust you?   

Do you see me as nothing, as a w***e?

Do you see me for my true worth?    

That’s what I fear

That you will see me as I am

A scared little girl in a women’s body

A child of hate   

Do you? 

You are better than me

 I am not allowed happiness

That I am nothing and probably will always be

Just that, Nothing

Am I just a pastime?

Do you understand what I’ve been through?

If you did, would you still hurt me so

I hurt myself enough

Maybe I am nothing

Nothing to worry about,  A person you do not wish to know

Does the real me turn you away

Should I keep my mask up always?

Its a nice mask makes you think everything is ok and that I am falsely happy

Do you think I am a horrible person?

I have hurt you

I have hurt myself

If i could i would take it all back

I would change what I have done

But in reality, that’s not an option

Do I even matter?

Because I don’t know what I will do

What I will be

All i know is that I want to be with you