You're Eyes

look

I heard you,

You’re milky chocolate coated words

You’re honey dipped whipped cream words

You’re marshmallow, candy fudged words

You’re eyes

Tell me its lies

You can’t disguise

Those black piercing eyes

 

I hear you

You’re soft, dulcet tones smiling in my ears

You’re warm, tender, loving accent

You’re smooth, dusky, gentle whispers

You’re eyes

Tell me its lies

You can’t disguise

Those troubled filled eyes

 

Your eyes are windows

I can see your soul

Feel your heart

And taste your pain

And they don’t lie

Reviews

[guiltyascharged]

Niiiiiiiiiice. That's some deep shiznit.

[E.H. Monroe]

S**t no they don't.
F**k em. Male Pattern Bullshit it's what we deal in.
The flow is almost cut by the line breaks. When I read it it flowed like one long sentence per stanza. All those wonderful inner rhymes dove in together and created a hard feminine stance and a marble base for an equistie statue.

Get em girl and take no prisoners

[OT]

this was really good!! you infuse imagery very well and subvert the sweets into things to fit in with the descriptions!! really liked!!

[Crowley]

Damn, I am hungry now....great description through the use of tactile references that we all can super identify with...and or me it is always the eyes, look up, fall in, fall down.

[Hannah]

I love the sweets references they were really nice =)
I really love this poem. Good job!!

[bluessadmood]

you eyes so deep and wild ,though never impressed
your words so dreamy ,took me high, times made me dizzy
still could feel the my grounds somewhere somewhere here and there
you could not fool me with their black,lots of it
like the night in your words,so deep with their light
eyes twinkle loving smiles ,and tender soothing words
but i was not fooled,i could see through and through,and you
lovely write..

[Nobody.]

I enjoyed this. Wanted to sing it. The metaphors are fresh and effective, the point made is sharp and the flow moves it along really well.
besides, I hate pretty lies more than most things. they're the razorblades in the apple.
cheers!

[Lupo]

I love all the candy references, but how it comes off in the end like all those sugary things were rotten. Nice.

[H0P3L3$$ !N$@N!TY(Luna)]

I belive this is a very great write! And it kind of reminds me about the thing my freind said about "peoples eyes tell you everything". Keep it up!
-Luna-