The Squid-Man and the Mermaid

A Story by VRAlibazah

It's an original story about a squid-man whose king was murdered and wants revenge.

So one day, under the sea, in the squid-men's kingdom, there was a knightly squid-man who was dashing and tough. Despite this, however, he was named 'Squiddy' affectionately by his mother, hoping that one day he would be a tanning bed vendor like his father.
When he was little, he wished to be a knight who eats pancakes all day-no wonder why they're so fat-and has all the attention from all of the squid-king's daughters. So it came to him one day when he was older to become a knight. And so, when he was old enough, he was recruited coincidentally by the Order of the Squid-a big knights' organization which recruited young men who aspires to become knights from all the corners of the kingdom-when he was practicing his ballet in a pigsty.
Back to present time, the diplomat whom the squid-king ordered to assume diplomatic relations with the mer-queen-a queen of the merpeople kingdom-returns to the squid-king's castle with his own blood all over his fancy robe and a piece of scrunched paper in his dying hand. The diplomat couldn't make it to the throne room where the squid-king was at presently, so he gave the piece of parchment to Squiddy, who was assigned to guard the entrance to the squid-king's castle.
"Please, kind and honorable sire, give this message to the king, for I am not able and cannot liveth long enough-eth." the diplomat pleaded.
"Sure, whatever." said Squiddy, and he snatched the piece of paper from the diplomat who, after having the piece of paper taken away, dies. Squiddy enters the throne room and bowed down to the squid-king before giving him the piece of paper the diplomat pleaded him to give to the squid-king.
"My lord," said Squiddy, "Thine diplomat who thou sent to the mer-queen hast returned. He bringeth this piece of paper and gave it to me."
"Where's the subtitles in this story?" asked the squid-king, before receiving the piece of paper from Squiddy. He opened it, and with his eyebrows raised he exclaimed, "Great mother of...!" and died of a heart attack. Squiddy wondered what message from the mer-queen made the squid-king had a heart attack, but surely, all the people in the throne room were shocked. He picked up the opened piece of paper and looked at what was drawn there. He saw two wonderful hills and a cottage situated on top of one of the hills. It was truly wonderful. The image stuck for a few seconds, and peace and harmony echoed throughout the throne room because of the soothing music that somehow hatched from within the piece of paper. Wanting to see more detail, Squiddy had his nose touch the piece of paper; he was watching very closely. Suddenly, a spine-chilling, blood-boiling, teddy bear-murdering scream came out of the piece of paper, followed by an image of a very gruesome face with gashes. Squiddy literally jumped his socks off, and so were the people in the throne room.
"What be that?!" one of the squid-king's terrified daughter asked Squiddy.
"That, my fair lady, be a screamer from the mer-queen." then Squiddy threw the piece of paper into the roaring fire of the fireplace, and the mer-queen's screamer was never seen again. Squiddy was of course very enraged that the squid-king died under his own watch, and his superior saw it too, so he assigned him on a mission to assassinate the mer-queen. He rode on a seahorse to the merpeople kingdom like a baby being trained how to potty. He went through many dangerous regions such as the Arm-Pits of Hades, the Lair of the Rotten Carrot, and so on until finally reaching the outskirts of the merpeople kingdom.
Squiddy discovered that even the outskirts were guarded by heavily armed and trained guards with a bulky appearance. He was afraid of them when he fought with them for the first time to get past them, only to discover that they are just mechanical statues that greet visiting tourists into the merpeople kingdom. So he got past them easily. He went exactly into the mer-queen's castle, and bypassed the guards, who seem to be sleeping with teddybears around their necks. Though when he reached the throne room, he finds the mer-queen lying down on the throne room floor with a bloodstain on her elegant dress as though as she bleeded to death from a wound which Squiddy cannot find anywhere in her slender body. Squiddy howls in disappointment and drives his own sword into his own stomach, dying ultimately, not wanting to disappoint his superior of course.
But shortly, after he died, the mer-queen rose up and leaned over Squiddy's corpse, and tickled it, trying to make sure that it's dead, and it was.
So she called, "Bently, please dispose of this."
"Yes, mistress," and her servant Bently disposed the corpse in a fiery furnace. Not long after, Squiddy's superior comes out of hiding and embraces the mer-queen, saying that her idea was not as bad as he thought.
"Your idea was great, darling, tricking Squiddy into believing that you're dead and forcing him to kill himself." Squiddy's superior complimented.
"Aw shucks, t'ain't that hard, honey! Kiz meh!" then Squiddy's superior and the mer-queen kissed. When Squiddy's superior was busy kissing the mer-queen, the mer-queen took out a sharp sea shell from her belly button and stabs Squiddy's superior to death with it.
"I thought we have something special!" Squiddy's superior moaned while dying.
"Nah, you're just not my type." then the mer-queen smiles at Squiddy's superior before he dies, and then says to herself that she did a good job 'wiping out all the great men of the squid-men kingdom' and mentions the name 'Squiddy' three times just for fun. Suddenly, Squiddy's apparition appears behind her and she could see it clearly in the mirror. Squiddy's apparition then kills her, and smiles at his own reflection in the mirror, which doesn't appear at all, causing him to shatter the mirror with his blood-curdling howl. Then a huge shard of glass impales him, killing him. And that is how to drive a car for the ones out of the right minds.