Moonlight

This is a poem about mortality

shadowed night

it was the moon

all along

Author's Note

I don't mind negative criticism. Positive criticism is fine too, so either way, don't be shy. Thanks.

Reviews

[cycy]

wow..very short indeed but meaningful non the less

[Sleiman Azizi]

Thanks for the kind words.

[Daydreamer]

Too many moments wasted in wishing to be somewhere else... Somebody else... But once the end is year, all you've ever been and done, becomes exactly all you've wanted all along ♥

[Sleiman Azizi]

I suppose that is one way of saying that we get what we deserve.

[A. Amos]

Snort and meaningful, well done!

[Sleiman Azizi]

Thanks.
Not sure about the snorting part though :)

[A. Amos]

sorry i mean short and meaningful, read in the morning was half sleep...my friend KWP brought me here and you're welcome

[KWP]

he Amos ... thanks for coming :) very nice of you and nice to see you xx

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear, anything for you...hope all is great!

[NoelHC]

So few words, so many thoughts come to mind. Well done.

[Sleiman Azizi]

Thank you.

I hope the thoughts are useful ones.

[wordman]

short and to the point enjoyed the read

[Sleiman Azizi]

Thanks for that.

I'm going to start a campaign to save the electrons.

[wordman]

good luck with that

[Chris]

Darkness
isn't always
of seeing

Sometimes I feel perceptions border on the tastes of life experience. The clarity of our intent nestles within the consciousness of our reader - did we awaken it or not?

[Sleiman Azizi]

eyes shut
I saw everything
I needed

[KWP]

eye's open
tears came
because of the wind

[Chris]

ears seldom blink - just the mind within...

good to see you.

[KWP]

Hearing
echo's of
another's soul
crying
inside passing
winds of nihility

I watch the tear's
refresh my now

good to see you Chris ... as always ... as always xx

[Rene Salinas]

A night that gets overshadwed by the enlightment of the moon. As the light itself does not belong to the moon then consequently the process is a by the way an acknoweledgment of the power of the sun. But reflection needs be for one to be confronted and see.

It was the moon all along then I agree

Thankyou

[Sleiman Azizi]

I've actually written a piece about what you just wrote. I'll try and find it and post it later today.

[Rene Salinas]

Surely worth the posting I will be waiting

[Rene Salinas]

I hope you don't mind my take on your lines:

May the radiant light flow into as reflection,
Take hold of you through affection.
Follow its rays with the warmth of love,
Think with the best glad thoughts that leap through your heart.
They will strengthen,
They are to bear,
They are to keep pure.
They will prepare.
We would fain gather my glad thoughts into steps on the paths to strive,
So they unite themselves to your own will of life.
That this may find itself in the freedom of the connection.
Through the shimmering wisdom of its reach and introspection.

[Sleiman Azizi]

Rene, here is the piece I referred to earlier. It's a small excerpt from a book i have been working on. Hope you enjoy it.

"The sun has taken pride of place as a source of veneration over the course of countless generations. It is also blinding, impossible to see and will ultimately destroy itself through its own production of power. The moon, on the other hand, has been a source of inspiration for millennia yet all it ever did was reflect the light of its more powerful neighbour. Budo movement is the same. The silent shadow of the moon (tsuki, 月) represents a hidden knowledge, where a simple punch or thrust (tsuki, 突き) leads to a form of possession (tsuki, 憑き). Both haunting and captivating, for the opponent, the shadow movement of budo can be terrifying."

[Rene Salinas]

That's great man oh man I have been writing about two Bhuddist Zen monks. Is a story but I struggle enourmosly with prose so I am a slow poke. That is a brilliant passage thanks for sharing

[Sleiman Azizi]

Thanks for the kind words.

I can imagine the story so far, "Two Zen monks walk into a bar..."

[Rene Salinas]

Hahaha not quite the American born at 42 has lived the american dream goes to Japan the Japanese son by tradition bounded to be a Monk asks the questions whar are we really doing here? Praying all day for what? The american monks invites him on a journey as it will be that last and wants his feelow monk to understand the power of monastic life "Sometimes doing less is more productive than the...." taht kind of thing....

[Sleiman Azizi]

Sounds like two Zen monks walking into a bar... :)

[Rene Salinas]

Hahahahha Ok I confess

[Sleiman Azizi]

The question of consciousness and its ether - mortality - is never too far from my thoughts. I have a lot of time for those who can smile with their eyes when faced with the questions mortality raises.

In saying that, I didn't try to do anything with this poem other than to run with the first line and see how minimalist I could make it. I honestly believe that poetry is less about words than about the space they suggest. Natural imagery is a goal of mine too, so perhaps that needs to be taken into account.

Anyway, I think I've done alright with this poem. I'd be curious as to what others thought.

[KWP]

this makes me smile ... all along it was the cheeky moon ... perfect !!

[Sleiman Azizi]

A giant cheese ball.