Unfinished Business

Days Missing: 15      5:12:36 PM

 

Alexandria

"Iris!" I shout, my hands furiously shaking her shoulders. "Iris! Please wake up!" I roll her over onto her back. I grip her arms and shake them. "Iris!" I beg. It doesn’t even sound like my voice, desperate and unraveled. "Please..." Tears begin to fall and my words become choked, lodged in my throat.

 I feel a pair of gentle hands grip my shoulders and pull me off of her.

"No!" I scream, pulling against them. "She needs help! Why won't anyone help her!"

I'm spun around, and Aiden meets my tearful gaze. My lip trembles, and I bury my face into his chest, fisting his shirt in trembling fingers. He holds me tightly as I sob uncontrollably. Roan has taken so much away from me, and I don't know why. He's taken Zane from me, and now he's taken Iris.

I press my hands against Aiden's chest and push him away, turning to the door. My fists clenched and my teeth bared. Anger sears my entire being.

"Why the f**k are you doing this!" I shout at the air, my body shaken with tears and fury.

There's a cruel laugh behind the door, which feeds my fury, like gasoline to a flame. The door opens, and Roan steps through. His black, cold eyes find Iris lying unconscious in front of him. He starts to kneel down over he limp body, stretching out a long finger towards her cheek.

I stride over, kneeling down, pulling her limp body onto my lap.

"Don't you f*****g touch her." I glare at him, and he stares back.

"She was in the way." he answers, still eyeing her.

"In the way of what?" Lex's voice is full of anger. Roan looks up at him, then at Lennox lying on the ground, wiping blood from his mouth with his sleeve.

"In the way of my plan.”

 Growing tired of him dancing around our questions, I grit my teeth.

 "What plan?" I growl.

 Roan sits on the ground innocently, crossing his legs.

"My plan to avenge Chandler.”

I look up at the unfamiliar name.

"It happened a long time ago. But first, let me tell you about my happy little childhood.” His tongue drips with sarcasm. “When I was young, I had run away from my family. You know, typical family. Daddy was a drunk and mommy never came home.” Mockery laces his voice. “I was living on the streets for about a month."

He sucks on his lower lip mindlessly, eyeing me.

"Lennox and Xander found me eating from a dumpster. I put up a weak fight. It was quite pathetic. They took me to their leader, Chandler."

I wait for him to continue, stroking Iris's dark hair.

"Chandler took me in. He took care of me."

There's a sense of longing in his eyes, and he stares into the distance, lost in a memory.

"He understood me better than anyone. He always looked after me. He treated me better than my own family ever could. It wasn’t long before I grew attached to him. I followed his every move. He trained me to fight. He trained me to kill. He was a good teacher."

He breaks eye contact from whatever he was looking at, and turns his gaze back to me, glaring.

“Chandler had some unfinished business with Zane years ago. The two of them had a little scuffling about something. Not quite sure what though. Chandler would never tell me. It was before Zane had joined Lucas’s cute little gang. He was a lone wolf back then. Snarky little b*****d.”

I feel myself growl at Roan’s words, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“We told him to meet Chandler and me at an abandoned oil company. We didn’t think he’d show up. But when he did, he kept making us look like fools, dancing around us like an idiot. Kept avoiding the reason we were even there. Chandler was getting angry. The little b*****d wouldn’t cooperate. Chandler decided he wanted to end him. Zane was being…stubborn.”

He reaches up and strokes the gash on my cheek, and I flinch. I hear a scuffle in the back as Aiden and Lex take a few steps in our direction, ready to attack if Roan harms me. Roan’s eyes flicker to them.

“There was a fight.” His eyes fall back to me. “Zane wasn’t being a good little boy, so we attacked.” The look he gives me sets me on edge, and I feel uncomfortable. I pull Iris closer into me.

“There was an explosion. An explosion that Zane caused. Chandler was too close.” His voice faltered, eyes flickering. “Zane ran out before I could kill him. So now I’m taking care of some unfinished business.”

Pure evil swims in his eyes. It scares me. I look up at him, revenge etched into his cruel features. So he’s using me to get back at Zane.

No.

He’s using me to lure Zane in.

S**t.

It’s a f*****g trap.

He knew Zane would come looking for me, and when he did, he’d be at the mercy of Roan. And by now I’ve learned that Roan doesn’t have mercy.

My mind is racing. If Zane comes here, or if any of the boys come here, they’ll be dead for sure.

I’ve been so stupid. Why didn’t I figure this out sooner?

‘You haven’t seen hell yet.’

‘What I want from you is revenge.’

‘In the way of my plan.’

His little hints ring in my ears. I’m more to him than just a plan for revenge. More than just a captive.

I’m his bait.

 

Roan stares into my eyes as my thoughts run wild, a smile pulling at his lips.

He knows I’ve figured it out.

Something stirs in my arms, and Iris’s breath shudders, her eyes fluttering. Forgetting about what I’ve just learned, my heart leaps with joy.

She’s waking up.

Reviews

[Alleyway Rover]

“"It happened a long time ago. But first, let me tell you about my happy little childhood.” His tongue drips with sarcasm.”

The ‘villain exposition’ cliche is well past overdone. It now functions mostly as a plot devise for the lazy writer who can’t be bothered to find another way to tell the story. There are a hundred other ways of getting this information into the story and all of them are more interesting then the villain suddenly feeling the need to Explain it All in order to move the plot forward.

Regardless of how you do it, this is the worst possible time to slow down the narrative with exposition. The plot was humming, tension was building to a white-knuckle intensity, the pace was moving at lightning speed and, right here, we slam right into a brick wall.

It is my opinion that, once the crew leave for the fight in the Alley, that’s the point of no return. It’s the crossing of the Rubicon. Past that point, it’s full speed ahead to the thrilling climax. Any exposition or plot points need to happen before that point or after the climax during the falling action.

I like the twist at the end of this chapter, though and I like the fact that you recalled his little hints from earlier in the book. It shows you thought about this and helps the story feel like it’s coming together.

One thing about it doesn’t make sense to me and that’s why he was willing to wait two weeks for Zane and the rest to figure it out. If it really were a trap, I should think he would leave some clues or something to lead Zane to this point earlier. The only reason he got this far was because one of the boys walked down the wrong dark alley. Unless there is another reason he wants here there, I would think he would expedite this process as much as possible.

[RainDancer1997]

I'm really enjoying this!!! Ik if someone from there tried to harm my little sister I'd die before I let that happen! I'm really excited to see what happens next.

[JordanIsaacSmith]

Well, that's all questions out of the way apart from "Will Zane and the rest of the family save Iris and Alex?" It'll be interesting to see how this ends. Consistently fantastic writing throughout.