Ch. 15- Assassins

Days Missing: 15      2:04:38 PM

 

Iris

Everyone’s sitting in the living room again. This time, it’s Zane pacing back and forth, turning on his heel in a sort of rhythm. We’re all getting edgy now. Like we’re walking on shards of glass. It’s been far too long. Alexandria’s been missing for over two weeks now, and we’ve still had no luck in finding her. I find myself becoming frustrated with everyone, especially Lucas. He has us being so careful in searching for her. He’s become too paranoid. I blew up at him yesterday. All I want is for them to find my sister, and Lucas has us tiptoeing around everything. We’re taking too long to find her. We’re letting her down.

I sit on Saxon’s lap on the floor, my legs laid over his crossed ones. He’s playing with my hair, staring off into the distance. I finger his shirt absentmindedly, rubbing the soft fabric between my index finger and thumb. For some reason, it seems to put my mind a little more at ease.

Eneko and Channing had gone back to the Alley again. They’ve been going there so much, Lucas made them lay low, and only talk to people they absolutely had to speak to. They’ve kind of been like our spies. They’re quick, and good at manipulating, as long as Eneko has something sharp in his hand.

The tense silence is broken by a door being burst open. We all turn to see Eneko enter through it, with Channing close on his tail. There’s something in his eyes that hasn’t been there for a while. Hope.

“I’ve got something.” He barks, trying to catch his breath.

Zane stops pacing, and Miren whips around in his chair.

He strides up to us quickly, his coat swinging in the wind let in from the door.

“I think I know of a gang whose working for Roan.”

They plop down on the couch, trying to catch their breath. Channing flicks his hair out of his eyes, which are now wild with excitement.

“All of us need to go to the Alley because it’ll be dangerous. We’ll have to be extremely careful, because if they catch on that we’re looking for her, they’ll kill us in a split second, and they’re known for being extremely vicious.”

I notice a gash on Eneko’s forearm. It looks like it was caused by a knife. It was fresh.

“There’s one in particular you should look out for. I’ve been watching him, and he really is a heartless b*****d. His name is Braxton.” Channing cuts in, eyeing us with blackened eyes.

I walk up to Eneko, crouching down on my haunches, wrapping my fingers around his arm and gently pulling it towards me, examining the wound. He looks down on me.

“Someone will have to stay close to Iris.” He says, looking into my eyes.

I know how to fight, Alexandria taught me how as I grew older, and the guys have taught me different techniques, but I’m only nineteen, and anything could go wrong, especially with a girl showing up in a place like this.

I look back at Zane, who’s begun to fidget.

Eneko pulls his arm free from my fingers, pulling his jacket sleeve over it.

I find myself rising to my feet quickly, eyeing Lucas dangerously. I’m furious at the hesitation that blankets over his face.

I stride towards him, closing the distance between us. I glare up at him, my jaw set.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” it was a question, but it came out more of a growl.

He looks down on me, and his expression falters.

I raise an eyebrow, challenging him. I’m sick of him being so f*****g paranoid. I need my sister back.

“Iris.” He mumbles, trying to calm me down.

I turn on my heel, whisking away from him, not waiting for the answer I knew he was going to give. I stride to the table, where I’d laid my coat earlier that day.

“Come on!” I yell, tugging on the thick material.

I whip around, finding wide eyes fixed on me.

I’m stunned at their idle bodies.

“What the f**k are you waiting for?” I yell. I clench my fists, becoming furious at their hesitation. Something sparks in Zane’s eyes, and he shifts, looking at Saxon. They both shuffle around the room, pulling on their jackets. Like a domino effect, the others start to copy them, going about the room, finally getting ready to leave.

We all leave the house, bunched close together like a pack of wolves. Saxon molds to my side, weaving his fingers between mine, holding tightly. Zane walks to my left, eyes fixed on the moving sidewalk. I look at him, then reach out my fingers, squeezing them reassuring around his arm. He looks at me, and gives me a half smile, a smile I haven’t seen in ages. It warms my cold body, sending hope through every vein.

We make our way down the street, Eneko and Lucas leading the way. It isn’t long before our path starts growing darker, leading up to something looming in the dark.

Then, like a dark storm that appeared out of nowhere, it was suddenly there, the Alley.

I cling to Saxon as we make our way deeper into the Alley, my skin beginning to crawl. My eyes dart from side to side, narrowing on the men that pass us. I feel myself begin to shake. Zane moves in front of me, guarding me.

Suddenly, someone is blocking our way.

His dark brown hair blankets over his rough features, sucking on a full lip, black eyes narrowed dangerously on us. They dart to Eneko, and something flashes through them. Recognition. He crosses muscled arms over a very broad chest, the corners of his mouth twitching. Menace etched into his features, he grinds his jaw.

Pure fear crawls across my skin as his eyes land on me. The corners of his mouth pull into a cruel smirk. I grip Saxon’s hand tighter, my knuckles turning white.

“Move Dmitri.” Eneko growls, his voice rumbling deep inside his chest.

The man smirks, clearly amused.

“You guys don’t look like the type that belongs here.” He mocks menacingly. His eyes fall on me, and I feel completely exposed as those black eyes start roaming my body.

“Are you gonna trade her off for some s**t?” his says, jabbing a finger at me.

Saxon steps in front of me so quickly it made my head spin. His hand flew to his pocket, where he kept his knife.

Lucas shifts to the center, standing in front of Dmitri, pressing his chest forward, looking threatening.

“Listen, Dmitri, we’re not here to f**k around. We’re looking for Roan.”

I wince, because I knew it was a stupid move the moment that name slipped out of Lucas’s mouth. I could tell Lucas was getting desperate, because he wasn’t one to screw up like this. We’re getting to a point where we’re getting reckless.

Dmitri’s body sways, eyeing Lucas menacingly as he rakes his fingers through his hair.

“Roan, huh?” Dmitri raises an eyebrow, evil dilating his black eyes.

Lucas takes a step back, realizing his mistake.

I notice two boys slowly sauntering up, landing on each side of Dmitri. One had his hands stuffed in his pockets, eyeing us menacingly. Blonde hair fell lightly over his youthful face, falling into his dark eyes. Something about him made my skin crawl just as much as Dmitri. Something told me this boy was Braxton. The other looked very young, too young, and he towered over Dmitri, dark hair outlining his small face. The slightest sign of hesitation laced his porcelain features.

As fast as lightening striking the ground, Dmitri lurches at Lucas, and I catch a glimpse of something silver as Lucas quickly pulls out his knife, clashing with Dmitri with a loud growl. There’s a loud thud, and I find Eneko and the blonde boy rolling around on the ground like animals. Eneko rolls on top of the boy, pulling his arm back, and decking the boy hard in the jaw. The boy pulls up his knee, thrusting it into Eneko’s belly, throwing him off of him and rolling on top. With a grunt, he decks him hard in the jaw, and Eneko cries out in pain. He spits out blood.

Saxon shoves me behind him, and Channing grabs my shoulders. From the corner of my eye, the young boy with dark hair flies at Zane, kicking him in the chest, knocking the breath out of him. Zane lies sprawled out on the ground, gasping. I feel Channing pulling me back, and I shout Saxon’s name as I see another guy advancing on him from behind, a metal pipe in his hands. Saxon whips around, grabbing the pipe, and twisting it out of his hands.

What happens next feels like a blur.

Reviews

[Alleyway Rover]

“I find myself becoming frustrated with everyone, especially Lucas. He has us being so careful in searching for her. He’s become too paranoid.”

This is a fantastic plot point. It’s always good (for the story) when Alliances start to shift, people start losing faith, tempers erupt and personalities clash. The great thing about it is it adds tension. The reader starts to doubt whether these characters can accomplish their goal if they don’t find a way to pull together.

Once again, though, I have to say, show us don’t tell us. Don’t write that Lucas has become too paranoid. Show Lucus being paranoid. Show Iris jumping up and calling him out. Show us the proper row that develops. It makes it real. It drives the point home that the s**t has rightly and truly hit the fan.

“I blew up at him yesterday.”
Show this.

“They’re quick, and good at manipulating, as long as Eneko has something sharp in his hand.”
Show this too. I’d like to see how Eneko operates.

“It looks like it was caused by a knife.”
Be carful of passive verbs, especially when the pace increases and the excitement increases like it is doing now. ‘A knife caused it.’ is active and it adds motion to the story.

“Saxon molds to my side…”
I don’t think the verb ‘to mold’ applies in this context. It’s a little weird.

The scene ends with a nice fight scene, lots of excitement, lots of action although I felt that it ended too abruptly. The scene hadn’t played out yet, I don’t think you’ve finished writing it. Let the whole thing play out. Let the battle unfold until glorious victory or crushing defeat.

[JordanIsaacSmith]

Great suspense. To make the action seen faster though, try breaking the paragraphs into even smaller paragraphs, to suit the fast paced writing. Great job with this story!

[RainDancer1997]

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I want more! haha please tell me when you update this story is amazing!!