The Girl Who Never Loved

I never truly believed that I of all people could learn to love. Isn't it silly to think that we transform ourselves and shed our old skin to reveal our flesh and bones to another? Don't you think it's quite odd we peel back the outer layer of our soul exposing all of the minuscule details that make us who we are to someone else?

I thought that I would never be able to love. In a whirlwind of loneliness and broken dreams your face effaced it's self into my brain, and that was when I knew I could not love. Your arms were always wrapped tightly around me as you whispered broken melodies of love into my ear. The others heard soft lullabies of love; I only heard the screeching of tires across an empty and barren wasteland.

 I heard the screech of an ending that never began yet I chose to give you my life anyways. As much as I knew that I could not love, I let you into my soul. I let you see the parts of horror and disdain that engulf my brain and scorch it until it turns black. However, it never seemed to phase you when I came to you crying about how I could never survive on my own. Your strong hands became my safety and I felt as if I had finally achieved love.

Now I lay looking out into the abyss that we call the night sky and I still feel your warmth. I feel the grotesque sense of love that was never real try to slither its way into my brain. It tries to constrict me and force me to try and feel once again. Oh no not anymore, your false promises and your foul love will never get to my heart again. I was never in love with you only the ideas of safety drew fanciful false pictures in my head. I never loved you. I cannot love you or anyone on this earth. I was the girl who never loved and I will never love again.