Look once, Not Twice

This is an old poem that I've recently started playing with again. I'd like to make it more consistantly sylabic, even though its pretty regular as is.

 

Look once, not twice,

For fear of salt,

Just enough time to say,

‘I love you not.’

 

The countdown begins,

No time to talk,

Just enough time to say,

‘I love you not.’

 

And now time is short,

I’m ready to die,

Just enough time to say,

‘I love you goodbye.’

Author's Note

I know its a little silly...

Reviews

[Wanda S. Paryla]

It's not silly at all. I like it. It might need a bit more development, but I love the last 2 lines, it gave me goosebumps. It just reiterates how much time we really have, and how much time we waste overthinking and procrastinating about life, and not paying attention to the things we should like relationships and delights... simple delights such as saying hello, or eating ice cream with the kids. Very insightful. Nice write.