Dusting off and letting go

I've been going through this horrible break up, you know the sort, where they reel back in just to dangle another fish in your face....(excuse the metaphor). So this poem is just sort of me when all of my feelings about the situation finally found it's w

Love is like a painful orgasium,

it hurts but you just want more.

It's shiny, perfect appearence,

it's addicting, seductive alore.

 

So now my heart is broken,

by the one i hold so dear.

I just wanna grab onto a shooting star,

and fly far away from here.

 

And then I'll make a mask,

so beautiful and strong.

And you'll never see me cry,

when everything goes wrong.

 

Maybe one day I'll find him,

the guy who holds the key.

The one who really cares,

and loves me for just me.

 

But that is for a 'Later'

and today I'm still piecing together my heart...

the one he swore to love,

then instead ripped it violently apart.

 

And so today I sit here,

trying to move the ball.

Get it rolling once more,

to help me fight against it all.

 

I'm suffercating in this cloud,

surrounded by all this stuff.

And if a scream could define my pain,

it could never be loud enough.

 

So until I'm finished healing,

While it's still me against the world.

I'll strap on my cape and mask

and pretend that I am supergirl.

 

Jessica Britt

Reviews

[OceanTropic]

Maybe one day I'll find him,

the guy who holds the key.

The one who really cares,

and loves me for just me.



But that is for a 'Later'


I love this. It gives a sense of hope. It is metacognitve. You can see that this will pass, you know it will, and your just allowing yourself through the process. Break ups suck, we all know. You think you can give in and actually care about someone, then realize it wasn't realy worth as much effort as you put into it. Either that or you were so hopelessly holding onto false hope that when your heart was broken, it was more than just in two. I liked this. It was nice and refreshing.. and hopefully you will feel better soon. Thanks for sharing :)

[Kristin Brecoe]

i agree with kristen. she pointed out the exact corrections i was going to make and made the same comments i was thinking. and by the way, i personally adore the word suffercating. its cute and depressing at the same time.

there was one area where the flow wasn't as neat as before.
"But that is for a 'Later'

and today I'm still piecing together my heart...

the one he swore to love,

then instead ripped it violently apart." the second and forth line seem to long to me, but it up to you to change.

but other than that it is a wonderful poem!

-kristin

[Clarisse Nanoit]

orgasium----> orgasm
suffercating----> should be suffocating, unless you were using your poetic license b/c you wanted to play on the word "suffer". :) I LOVE this poem, as you well know. My favorite stanza:

"I'm suffercating in this cloud,
surrounded by all this stuff.
And if a scream could define my pain,
it could never be loud enough."

YAY!! I'm so glad you have a profile on here. You're my bestie forever.
KH