Stargazing

Something I want to tell myself in the future 7/26/2017 11:33 PM

Hi there !

Today is 7/26/2017 11:33 PM

Okay, so I'll start by saying or rather asking if you know who you are in love with by this time ? Do you remember ? That somebody who likes the stars as well, you remember him now ?

It would be weird if you don't remember him, cause you love him so much, no, I love him so much and I hope in the future, you still love him, no matter what.

He's the first guy you've ever known to love the stars. You love the stars too right ? And you like to go stargazing too. Which is why up to this point, you actually want to send him a letter to invite him to go stargazing. It would be impossible for him to even read the letter but you would still like to take the chance.

By this time, you said you'll send the letter when you get paid at your part time job. You actually have a part time job now as an online English teacher. I wonder what you are up to now.

Speaking of letters, you know your friend Linh ? Your friend from the JUMP fandom whom you talk to on LINE ? You actually are planning to send her a letter too. She's in the USA if you don't remember.

Let's go back to this guy who you devoted yourself that you'll be in love with for the rest of your life. You even pray every night and wish every 11:11 that you can go stargazing with him even it's just for one night. Moreover, you pray that even if you have no chance for him today, you pray that you'll be together with him in your next life.

Yes, this is how in love you are to this guy. You talk to God about him. And that makes me really happy.

So his name is, Arioka Daiki, he belongs to a Japanese band and well, you love him so much along with his other 8 members. This band saved you from depression and anxiety. 

Do you remember ? 

You used to cut yourself. in your wrist, sometimes in you thigh so it won't be seen by others. You were so depressed. I guess that was early 2017, and that's the time you started loving JUMP. Remember now ?

You knew JUMP when you were in college, but you were not in love with Daiki yet. You were in love with Chinen Yuri at that time, the other member.

The songs they sing as a band saved you. You don't cut anymore, it's been a while now. But as per you ( me ) , as long as Jump is around, active, and making songs and shows, you will never be depressed again. 

Their songs are mostly about love, but they make songs about life and dreams too. That's why you love them so much, cause they inspired you, they helped you get up the first time you found yourself in rock bottom.

Thru their songs, they told you not to give up, to keep moving forward and to be strong.

They are your sunshine, whenever you are sad every morning, they make you smile every night and that's how your day ends, with them making you happy.

Arioka Daiki is your star. Your one and only. He'll always be your star and you'll always look at the stars and think about him even if you're not together. You'll think, "Maybe Daichan is looking at these stars too." 

Now I want to tell you something, this might be painful but it's okay.

Even if Arioka Daiki might have a girlfriend or a wife or a family of his own, you don't need to feel heartbroken okay ? You don't have to worry and please don't be sad. You're strong but that's not the point.

You are not going to leave the fandom just because you feel heartbroken for your star. No.

You are going to love Arioka Daiki for the rest of your life. He's your star and always will be. Even if you have a boyfriend, a husband and a family of your own, you're still going to think about him when you look at the stars and you're still going to remember him as your star. Don't worry if your boyfriend gets jealous, it's okay.

Do you remember how you fell in love with him ? 

You fell in love with him cause he makes you laugh, up until now you still love that about him. His best friend, Yamada Ryosuke, is more handsome but you still chose Daichan cause he makes you laugh and he puts a smile on your face.

So yeah, keep on loving him until the end. You pray that he'll be yours in your next life or in your other lifetimes, so you'll have to wait. You have to trust God's perfect timing, cause maybe it's not you and him for this life. But you have to be okay with that.

You need to be happy for him, even for his relationships with other people. You need to be proud of him.

If he's happy, then you're happy. Okay ? Some people tend to stay away to avoid getting hurt. I don't want you to do that. I want you to face the pain and prove yourself you are strong enough to fight it with a good heart and a happy smile. You deserve to be happy too. Maybe God can give you a Daiki version 2.0, just be happy for him okay ? You're strong, you're brave, and you love this band so much, you will not leave this fandom to avoid being heartbroken okay ? It's alright, just happy for him.

If you can, send him more letter about stargazing, maybe he'll say yes. Even if it's just for one night, it will be a dream come true. Try to pursue that dream, it seems impossible but it's very much possible. Even if he has a relationship with somebody, I'm sure Daichan is kind enough to go with you if you ask nicely. :)

Oh and the picture below ?

The "It might even...turn out to be you." is from Daichan's Jumpaper. It's when he talked about who he might meet next time. And the "I dream of inviting you to go stargazing." is of course, made by you who dream of inviting Daichan to go stargazing. 

I hope you get to experience stargazing with him ! Be happy okay !!