mindless thought

A Story by drew nickerson

this is the first chapter of my book. if want to read chapter 2 ill post it let me know

Chapter 1: Doctor assessment

Andrew and mother was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting to be seen by Dr. jackson. “Mother do I really have to be here?” Andrew asked mother. “Yes you do son. I know I wouldn’t want to be here either.” Mother replied. Andrew glanced at his watch that he had strapped around his wrist. “Mother it is 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Are we going to die sitting here waiting to be seen by the doctor?” Andrew asked sarcastically. A tall old man with white hair and a white beard came out into the lobby from what seems to be a office. “Andrew? I am ready to see you now if you will please follow me young sir” Dr. Jackson requested. Andrew stood up and headed for the office while making a smirk over his shoulder at Mother. “Please Andrew will you have a seat?” Dr.Jackson requested sitting on his chair behind the desk. “So what brings you in here in my office today?” Dr.Jackson asked. “Well, my school thinks I need to be put on medication before I can go back and if I don’t get put on medication I will most likely not be able to return to school” Andrew replied back. Dr.Jackson leaned back in his chair with one eye brow up. “Do you have anger problems Andrew?” Dr.Jackson asked. “Define the word anger” Andrew replied. “Sudden outbursts that you really have no control over” Dr.Jackson replied. “Well there’s more to it” Andrew said. Dr.Jackson nodded his head. “Go on tell me the rest of what your thinking” Dr.Jackson said. “Well I think there is more to the story because I feel like something is controlling me” Andrew replied. “Who do you think is controlling you?” Dr.Jackson Asked. “Well I kind of feel awkward to answer this but I believe satan has control over my body” Andrew replied. “Is it video or audio?” Dr.Jackson asked. “Well my “ mother always said I used to come up to her and say that the devil is talking to me” Andrew replied. Ever since the first time Andrew felt satan was in control of his body he has always thought he was the spawn of satan. “Is the hallucinations just video or do you hear things as well?” Dr.Jackson asked. Andrew thought very carefully before responding. “Well yeah that too” Andrew replied. “I hope the next few questions don’t offend you or make you uncomfortable but I must ask you to proper diagnose you. Are you suicidal or homicidal?” Dr.Jackson asked. This in fact wasn’t uncomfortable. “Suicidal yes homicidal not so much” Andrew replied. “I see” Dr.Jackson said. “Doctor, what is wrong with me?” Andrew asked abruptly. The kind doctor sat there for a brief moment. “You have the symptoms

of the diagnosis. I think you may have schizophrenia aka psychosis” Dr.Jackson said. “Can this be treated?” Andrew asked. “Oh yes indefinitely. I’m going to suggest that you start 500 mgs of clozapine” Dr.Jackson replied. “And what exactly is schizophrenia?” Andrew asked. The kind doctor sat there spinning his chair back and forth. “Schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder” Dr.Jackson replied. “Ah I see. So I can go back to school now?” Andrew asked. “Oh no, not yet I want you to go to a psychiatric hospital for a week to be monitored on your new medication because we don’t know how it will effect you” Dr.Jackson spilled the bad news. Andrew didn’t like the sound of that. “Oh no I hate hospitals” Andrew cried. “Would you please ask your mother to come join us?” Dr.Jackson asked very politely. Andrew quickly stood up and yelled threw the door to mother. “Hello doctor, do you know what is wrong with my son?” Mother asked. “Why yes mam, your son has schizophrenia in which I am prescribing him 500 mgs of clozapine” Dr.Jackson replied. “What exactly is schizophrenia?” Mother asked abruptly. “Oh it’s a chronic brain disorder. Which is psychosis” Andrew answered for Dr.Jackson. “I would like to admit Andrew in the westford behavioral hospital so he can be properly monitored on his new medication” Dr.Jackson commented. Mother frowned. “And how long would he have to stay there?” Mother asked. “No longer then a week” Dr.Jackson replied. “Do I have to go doctor?” Andrew asked. “Yes you do and if you don’t go voluntarily you will have to be committed and you will be there for longer then a week so pick your choice” Dr.Jackson replied. “Fine, admit me in the stupid hospital” Andrew agreed. “Okay, just give me a minute to call westford and see if they have any openings” Dr.Jackson requested. The doctor spun his chair 30 degrees to the left and picked up his phone and started dialing the number to the hospital. “Hello my names Dr.Jackson I am calling regarding a young man name Andrew Johnson. I was calling to see if you have a teen male bed open” Dr.Jackson asked. “Yes let me look at the chart” Said a lady on the other end. “Yes doctor it does seem we do have a bed open for a male. When do you think they will arrive here for his assessment?” The lady asked. “Hold on… Mrs.Johnson when do you think you can get him to the hospital?” Dr.Jackson asked. “Oh I can take him straight from here” Mother replied. “Mam they will be arriving there straight from here” Dr.Jackson replied. “Okay great we will see them soon then” The lady said hanging up.

“Okay Andrew the hospital is expecting you” Dr.Jackson said. “Okay thank you very much doctor I will drive him straight to the hospital” Mother said following Andrew out the office door.

“Are you nervous sweetie?” Mother asked. “Yes, like you’d never believe” Andrew replied. Andrew can’t imagine what it’s going to be like in the hospital. “Just do what they say, take your medicine and you will be out in no time” Mother assured him. Andrew was hoping that he will only be there for a week. Andrew didn’t like the sound of being locked up in the hospital. “I wonder how long I have had this illness” Andrew said. Mother peeked over at Andrew. “Well your Uncle Greg has it” Mother replied. “I wonder out of 3 kids I have to be the screwed up child” Andrew said negatively. Mother glanced at Andrew. “I wouldn’t call yourself screwed, I would call yourself special” Mother redirected his anger. “Yeah, special ed” Andrew said. Andrew was starting to get in one of his funky moods. “Stop honey you will be fine. Just look at it this way, you are getting the help that you need. You are lucky you caught this illness at the time you did or it could of gotten a lot worse” Mother said trying to comfort him. “Is Uncle Greg on medicine too?” Andrew asked. “Yes, but he wasn’t diagnosed with schizophrenia at your age. He caught it later in his mid 20s” Mother replied. “Mother can you bring some clothes and some stuff to the hospital tomorrow?” Andrew asked. “Yes sure what did you want me to bring?” Mother replied. “Clothes, my journal and hygiene supplies” Andrew requested. Mother made a mental note to remember to bring what he requested. Mother and Andrew arrived at westford hospital around 5pm. “I hope this doesn’t take too long” Andrew grunted. “Andrew have a seat I will sign you in” Mother said. Mother walked up to the receptionist. “Hello, how may I help you?” The receptionist asked. “Yes I am here to admit my son. His doctor called ahead of time to let whoever know they should be expecting him” Mother replied. “Name?” The receptionist asked. “Andrew Johnson” Mother replied. “Okay, please fill out these insurance papers and wait patiently” The receptionist said giving Mother a clipboard and paperwork. Mother went to sit next to Andrew. “Okay, I’m going to fill this out” Mother commented to Andrew. Andrew had just remembered something. “Mother I just realized ill

be spending my birthday in the hospital” Andrew cried. Andrew’s birthday was rapidly approaching. “No worries we will celebrate it when you get out” Mother assured him. Andrew had never missed a birthday party in his life. Now he will always remember that he spent his 16^th birthday in the hospital. “Mother there is a soda machine over there. Can I please have some money for a soda?” Andrew asked politely. Mother pulled out her purse and took out a dollar twenty-five. “Here you go Andrew” Mother said handing Andrew the money. Andrew went over to the soda machine. “Hmm which soda do I want?” Andrew asked himself. There were mainly coke products. Andrew put the money in the machine and clicked on coke. Andrew then walked back over to mother and sat down. Andrew looked at the clock above the front desk. “It is 6:32 when are we going to be seen?” Andrew asked. “Be patient I am sure their just backed up” Mother replied. Minutes have passed. A lady in a red dress came out the double doors. “Andrew Johnson?” The lady in the red dress called. “Come on honey” Mother said standing up. “Hello Andrew my name is Susan. I will be doing your assessment this evening” Susan introduced herself. “Hello Susan my name is Sue and I am Andrew’s mother” Mother introduced herself to Susan. “Lovely, please follow me if you will and I hope your not scared of tiny rooms” Susan instructed them to follow her. Andrew sat down on the chair next to the desk with Mother by his side. “First before we begin, would it be okay if I brought somethings for Andrew in tomorrow morning?” Mother asked. Susan sat down at the desk. “Yeah sure that wont be a problem, what kind of things were you looking to bring?” Susan granted permission. “Clothes, his notebook and some hygiene products” Mother replied. “Clothes is fine as long as they don’t have strings, the only kind of notebook that are allowed here are composition books and we only allow hygiene products that we provide here” Susan said. “Well my notebook doesn’t have the spiral” Andrew notified Susan. “Okay then yes your mother can bring that in” Susan said. “How long will this assessment take?” Andrew asked. “Oh I only have a couple questions” Susan replied. “Okay, I am ready” Andrew said. “What is your date of birth?” Susan asked. “January 3,1989” Andrew replied. Susan noted his birth on the paper. “Diagnosis?” Susan asked. “Schizophrenia” Andrew replied. “Now for this next question it may make you feel uncomfortable but must ask” Susan said. Andrew frowned. “Okay go on if you must” Andrew said. “Are you

sexually active?” Susan asked. Andrew was embarrassed. “No I am not” Andrew replied. Mother smiled. Mother was relieved to know that his son was sexually inactive. “If you have a crisis, like get upset or feel unsafe can you come to a staff?” Susan asked. “Yes mam” Andrew replied. “Okay Andrew that’s it with the questions, I just need to take your picture” Susan said. Susan left to get the camera. “They will take good care of you, I promise” Mother assured him trying to make him feel better. “Yeah but still nervous, what if I don’t make any friends?” Andrew asked. “Oh I am sure you’ll make tons of friends” Mother spoke truthfully. A few minutes have passed when Susan arrived with the camera. “Now the photo is for our records” Susan said. “Do you expect me to smile for this picture?” Andrew asked. “No I don’t, I know how you feel” Susan replied. Susan took Andrew’s picture. “Okay I will take you back to the unit, say good bye to your mother” Susan said. Andrew hugged mother good bye. “I will drop your belongings off tomorrow morning” Mother said. Mother has exited threw the double door. “Okay if you will please come with me” Susan requested. Andrew followed Susan to the unit.

“Lucas this is Andrew, he is a new admission” Susan introduced Andrew to the evening nurse Lucas. Andrew looked at the clock on the wall. “Wow it’s 7:45” Andrew said sounding shocked. The admission didn’t take long at all. “Hello Andrew I am the evening nurse for the adolescent unit” Lucas said. “Oh hello Lucas, what is it like here? Is it like prison?” Andrew asked straight forward. “No it is nothing like prison, you have more freedom here” Lucas replied. “Yes but the doors are locked” Andrew said. “Yes well we do get patients who try to run away, it is just a precaution” Lucas replied. “Okay what’s the next step to this admission?” Andrew asked. “Well first before we do anything I have to body search you” Lucas replied. Andrew didn’t like the sound of that. “Your kidding me right?” Andrew asked. “No unfortunately I’m not” Lucas replied. Andrew didn’t want to do this but its procedure so he followed Lucas into the hallway bathroom. “Okay take your shirt and pants off” Lucas requested. “Do I have to take underwear off?” Andrew asked. “No, that you don’t have to do” Lucas replied. Andrew was relieved. Andrew was down to his underwear. “Are these searches

mandatory?” Andrew asked. “Yes, you wont imagine how many times teens try to smuggle in contraband” Lucas replied. “Oh wow, your right I can’t imagine” Andrew said. “Okay the search is over, please sit at the nurses station so I can finish the assessment. I will need to talk to you for a couple minutes” Lucas said. Andrew left the bathroom and sat in the chair in the hallway by the nurses station. Lucas went behind the nurse station to get the paper work for the rest of the assessment. “Andrew please come with me in the phone room” Lucas requested. Andrew stood up and followed Lucas into the small phone room. “Okay I just have a few questions, so according to the scripts your mother gave Susan, you are taking 500 mgs of clozapine and 20 mgs of Lexapro” Lucas said reading the paper work. “Yes, when will I start these medicines?” Andrew asked. “Well you will start the clozapine tonight and the Lexapro tomorrow morning” Lucas replied. “Do you take any illegal drugs or drink alcohol?” Lucas asked. “Nope never have and never will” Andrew replied. Lucas smiled. “Why, do you ask?” Andrew asked. “Well because some of the patients we get are either on drugs or alcohol” Lucas replied. “Oh damn” Andrew said sounding shocked. “Okay well your assessment is now finished just give me a few minutes and ill tell you which room you will be in. if you need anything please feel free to ask and you may join the others in the day room” Lucas said. It was quarter after 8 o’clock by the time he was finished with his assessment and he had joined the others in the day room. As Andrew walked into the room almost everyone looked up at him. A young red haired girl came over to him. “Hello my name is Amber what is your name?” Amber introduced herself. Andrew looked up to look the girl in her eyes. “Oh hi, my name is Andrew nice to meet you” Andrew introduced himself back. “You look nervous” Amber said. “Yeah well that is because I am” Andrew replied. “May I ask why?” Amber asked. “Well this is my first time here” Andrew replied. “Oh you will be fine, this is a good place, I have been here atleast a dozen times” Amber said trying to comfort him. Amber turned her head to bring over her friends. “Andrew this is Sam, Jack and Sarah” Amber introduced them to him. There was something about Amber that brought butterflies to his stomach. Andrew was attracted to girls with red hair and glasses and there was something about her eyes that he liked. “Andrew would you come here for a minute?” Lucas asked peeking his head in the door. Andrew stood up and walked over to the door

to see what Lucas needed. “Yes?” Andrew asked. “Your in room 3 bed A.” Lucas replied. “Okay, thank you” Andrew thanked him and returned to Amber and her friends. “What did he need you for?” Sam asked. “Just to tell me im in bedroom 3 bed A” Andrew replied. “Oh wow, that’s my room so I guess were roommates then” Jack said. Jack seemed like a nice guy. “So what is the agenda for the rest of the night?” Andrew asked. “Well right now they are about to give out medications” Amber replied. “Ah okay” Andrew said. “Yes, and bedtime is at 10pm” Sam said. “So what is there to do here besides groups?” Andrew asked. “Well we have a cafeteria and a gym with a basketball court” Jack replied. “Is the food here any good, I know hospital food isn’t really that good” Andrew asked. “Its better then other hospital food, oh and every Sunday we are allowed to order out if we have money” Amber replied. James came into the day room. “Okay ladies and gentleman line up for medication” James ordered. “Come on Andrew line up behind me” Amber said. Andrew had a feeling Amber liked him. But he definitely has a crush on her, was it lust or love at first sight. Andrew followed Amber to the med room. “So Andrew what brings you in?” Amber asked. Andrew looked into Amber’s baby blue eyes. “Well I just learned that I have schizophrenia and I am here to be monitored on my new medication?” Andrew replied. “A lot of teens that come here have that illness, in fact I have it” Amber said. “She is right” Sam commented. Amber was next in line to take her medication. “I’ll wait for you in the day room when you take your meds” Amber said. Amber went up to the door to take her medication. “Next” Lucas yelled threw the door. “Hello Lucas” Andrew said. “Hello Andrew, hoew are things going for you so far?” Lucas asked. “Just fine and dandy, made some friends so far” Andrew replied. “That is great buddy, here is your 500 mgs of clozapine” Lucas said handing the medication over to him. “Show me your mouth” Lucas asked. Andrew opened his mouth and stuck his tongue out. “Is it required we show our mouths during med time?” Andrew asked. “Yes, you have no idea how many teens try to cheek their meds” Lucas replied. “Oh wow, people actually try to do that?” Andrew asked shocked. “Yeah, sometimes we get patients that overdose on medications” Lucas replied. “Thank you” Andrew said leaving for the day room. “There you are was wondering if you got lost” Amber said jokingly. Sam giggled. “Ha we have jokes now” Andrew said laughing. Andrew had a gut feeling that Amer was attracted to him. “Are you

nervous Andrew?” Amber asked. “Not as much as I was before I got here” Andrew replied. Amber smiled at him. Amber did in fact care about Andrew. “That is good to know you are starting to get use to the hospital” Jack said. “You know if you ever need to talk we are here for you Andrew” Amber said. Andrew smiled a little bit. “Awe thank you” Andrew thanked Amber. “Were not just here for treatment, we are also here to help each other out” Sam said. Andrew looked at the clock. “So what time is bed time?” Andrew asked. “10 o’clock” Sam replied. “Yes I agree with you it certainly has been a long day. Since I got here this morning” Amber said reading Andrews mind. Andrew felt a connection between Amber and himself. Amber was his dream girl. Red hair, baby blue eyes and a pudgy little nose. “Andrew what are you thinking?” Amber asked interested. Andrew is sure by now that she is in fact interested in him. “Not entirely sure my mind is so tired from racing” Andrew replied. “Ah racing thoughts huh?” Jack asked. “We all have that every now and then” Amber said. “My 16^th birthday is on Tuesday and I am stuck in this place for it” Andrew announced. “Oh, very interesting. We will have to celebrate it” Amber said excitedly. “Well I rather not. This will be one birthday I will always remember” Andrew said. “Then why not make it special, one that youll enjoy for years to come” Amber said making it sound juicy. Andrew just sat there and thought about it. “Yeah, I guess. But we won’t be able to get a cake since we are stuck in here” Andrew said. “Maybe we can have one of our parents bring a cake. We just need staff’s permission” Amber suggested. “Yeah, sounds like fun” Jack said. “When are visiting hours?” Andrew asked. “Everyday from 3pm to 4pm” Sam replied. “I will ask mother for money so I can order out on Sunday” Andrew said. “All 4 of us should do that” Jack said. Everyone agreed. “Sunday is 2 days away so we should ask tomorrow during visiting” Amber said. “Well guys I am going to go to bed now im tired” Andrew said heading to bed.