It's alright, but it's not

I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing with myself,
This is all a little too much.
It’s alright, but it’s not.
But I won’t be a burden,
I’ll say it’s alright.

I’ll smile through the static in my chest,
Make jokes as my insides unravel.
You’d never guess the storm behind my eyes,
Or the weight of the silence I carry.

It’s alright, but it’s not.
These words roll off my tongue like they belong,
But they stick in my throat like unfinished confessions.
I’m here, aren’t I?
Standing, smiling, pretending, surviving.

I want to scream into the void,
But I won’t.
I’ll swallow my voice,
Choke it down with another “I’m fine.”
Because being too much feels like the only crime I can’t afford.

So, I’ll keep walking this road,
Steady, though my knees shake.
And maybe, one day,
I’ll say it’s alright,
And mean it.