The Secret

A little girl striving for her older sister's attention

I'd always looked at her with a sense of fascination and admiration, the way she could brush those closest to her off to the side without a sense of pain or sadness. It always seemed to me that each individual family member was a piece of dust clinging to her clothes - trying to hold on but always being detached briskly and quickly, without a thought. I was probably the most recurring dust bunny. The moment she plucked me away I was right back on her, pleading her to let me stay. It became a challenge, trying to figure out the secret to her heart.  "Come play my little pony, Hanna!" "Come watch a movie with me, Hanna!" "Wanna come to my tea party, Hanna?" "Will you help me with my homework, Hanna?" "Hanna, I'm scared. Can you sing me a song?" None of the keys fit in the lock. It was after years and years of trying that I finally came to the conclusion that it was time to give up. It was time to let go. No longer was I going to be the piece of dirt, loathed and disgusted. I let myself fall to the ground and become part of the earth and didn't pick myself up. Instead, I remained.  One day she showed up at my house. I sent the kids outside to play under the sun and in the grass. It was just me and her. My heart pounded. "Hi." She said.  "Hey." I responded. The air, thick and dense. The hairs on my skin prickled and goosebumps lined both arms and legs. Sitting at the feet of her clothes, I could feel my particles beginning to wriggle and climb towards her, wishing to stick for an eternity and not for a few minutes.  "It's been a long time." I nod.  "I've... I've been kind of lonely." Her eyes pierce mine and I can feel her heart prying open. "There's never anyone when I get home. All I can hear are the ringing of my own footsteps, the sound of my own movements. And I, well, I feel..." I see wetness brimming at her eyelids, but I don't move. I don't step forward and hug my sister because I can't bring myself to try another key that I know won't work. I watch as she blubbers in front of me, salty tears dripping down a withered face, but I don't reciprocate. My face is set in stone. And so is my heart.  After a few minutes of painful, tense air, I tell her, "You need to go." And as I watch her walk out the door, I see a slight wind pass through the room and realize the breeze is blowing away yet another piece of worthless dust. There was no secret. And if there was, it wasn't worth the wait.

Author's Note

I wrote this a few years ago and can't decide if I like it or not... thoughts?

Reviews

[WB]

As a stand alone piece I think it needs some fleshing out, some further explanation - but as the opening chapter to a novel or to a longer piece which reveals the reasons behind the strained familial relationship I think it is fantastic.

[Myra]

It is a nice, very thoughtful. Like the two sisters' relationship that never grows as it should. They need each other but still could not go along. In first part one was needed while in the other part the second one needed help.