So Goddamn Drunk.

I think when you’re 18 you don’t expect it to hurt as much as it does.

But what the f**k would you know about love until it slams into your chest and knocks the air out of your lungs.

So you fall in love.

And he leaves. And you stop washing your hair, and your skin is bruised from the creases in your sheets and your mother wants to yell at you but your blank stare just makes her eyes tear up. And you’re not supposed to see your mother cry.

And you’ll probably try destroying yourself because that’s what you do when you’re 18. So you pull apart razors and hide them some place your parents can find them, but they never do.

And you’ll start smoking even though it makes you cough so hard you throw up and you can’t stand the burning in your throat.

And you’ll run away without ever leaving your room and maybe you’ll kiss to many boys that mean nothing but mean all too much, and they will look a little like him or nothing at all.

And you let him f**k you up and leave him drunken voicemails. And you haven’t cried in 23 days even though you’re always crying. And you promise you’ll never love anything again because it hurts more than they warned you.

No one told you this was love, and maybe it isn’t love maybe it’s more. Maybe it’s something from another world. Maybe it’s just your bones breaking again, either way it f*****g burns and now your older and you know to expect to come out the other side missing a few pieces of yourself.

But sometimes you get caught up and you think that it supposed to hurt, it’s not supposed to f*****g hurt.

And you blink and you’re bleeding again, and it’s like you’re 18 all over again trying to rip yourself to shreds while you try to pick up all the pieces of yourself.

Everyone thinks you’re mysterious because your mouth is sewn shut with the death of past loves but you’re just so quiet because they’ve taken so much out of you, you can hardly open your eyes, forget about your mouth.

And I guess the worst part about love dying out is that you don’t die with it, you attend the funeral and visit the grave every time you’re drunk.

And you’re always so goddamn drunk.

Reviews

[BBP]

Really liked this!! It was real, not just pain wrapped in pretty tissue paper.

[tranquil_sky]

thank you so much xx

[Schatzi]

Hello tranquil_sky,

Wow . . . you nailed it. There is nothing more I can really say.

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi