Muted Resentment 1

Another day passed by as I sat in the room and looked out the window. I watched the sun come and go with the moon taking its place; the world seemed to have no purpose as I watched from the window. No one ever visited me while I sat up in my room. No one cared that I locked myself up for hours, no one seemed to worry about my whereabouts. It has always been like that, they did not care to look out for me and I did not care much for them. The feeling has always been mutual.

The hatred in that house could be cut with a knife, it was so thick. I was getting lost in my own thoughts as the wind hit my face. Just then there was a knock on the door, I was thrown out of my trance before I got into it. “Who is it,” I asked as the knocking became silent. The wind still whipped my hair around my face as no one answered. I sighed and got up from my seat by the window, walking slowly and unwillingly to the door.
          
I opened it to reveal Justin standing just on the other side; I caught him in the act of getting ready to knock one more time. I plastered a smile on my face and never let it falter, “What can I do for you?”
          
“Mother wants you to come downstairs for dinner,” he said without hiding the hatefulness that filled his voice.
          
“I will be down in a minute,” the smile never left my face as my hate for him grew stronger, “Tell mother that once I am done getting myself decent I shall join you.”
          
He just turned and left, I shut the door and the smile slid right off my face. His attitude always put me in a bad mood as did the rest of my families. Displeasing mother was something I did not want to do at the moment so I got ready for dinner in my best clothes. I plastered a happy face on as I headed out my room and downstairs to the dining room.
          
I walked in to find everyone already at the table. Father and mother sat across from each other while brother sat close to father’s side and I took my seat close to mother. The house was not full of man verses women fighting but it was filled with pure hatred, the parents who never wanted their children and the children who became bitter from their parent’s hatred.
          
“Nice for you to finally join us Elizabeth,” my mother said as I took my seat at the table.
          
“I’m sorry for taking so long mother,” I said with fake grief in my voice.
          
“Elizabeth,” he father’s stern voice came to her ears, “Being late shall not be tolerated.”
          
“I’m sorry dear father,” my voice never faltered.
          
“As useless as usual,” my mother said with a scoff. No one said a word after mother’s comment and we all ate in silence. I was the first to finish and our many butlers came to take the plate from me, I excused myself from the table with a smile and walked up to my room.

Once in my room I quickly changed from my uncomfortable dress into a skirt and shirt. I once again walked over to my open window; I stood there as the wind danced threw my hair. I felt relaxed and leaned forward and out the window. I reached my hand out to the bird that flew by and a blue jay landed gently on my finger.

My head hung completely out the window and the wind whipped my hair all around. It felt good and relaxing, my mind even cleared for a little while. Someone shattered the peace and serenity that surrounded me, “Hey you’ll fall out if you’re not careful!”

I jump a little and the blue jay got scared away, the voice came from below so I quickly looked down. There was a man and a boy standing right below my window, they were not familiar faces to me. “Who are you? What is your purpose,” I asked them.

“Just innocent bystanders,” the man said, “We have some business in this house.”

“Does my mother know you’re here,” I asked though I did not want to hear his answer.

“No she doesn’t,” the man answered, his answer surprised me. I just stared at him and an answer popped up in my mind and I yelled down to the man, “Please wait there I’ll let you guys in.”

I quickly ran downstairs and to the door, none of my family was around to see that I was wearing my normal clothes. I got to the front door and quickly opened it to reveal the man and his son; the son looked about my age. I smiled at them and let them in the house, I lead them to the living room. Mother and father were sitting far from each other as they read their books; I cleared my throat so the sound could announce my presence.

They both turned to face me and neither of them noticed the man and his son that followed me into the room. Their eyes were filled with contempt as they looked at me; I completely forgot that I was wearing my normal clothes. “Mother, father,” I tried to take the attention off of myself; “This man and his son are here to see you.”

Both of my parents turned their attention to the man and the boy, I held in my sigh of relief; I wanted to keep the attention off myself. Once they saw the man their faces changed them into completely different people, they looked like the parents I used to know. Smiles appeared on their faces and without even turning to me they dismissed me from the room.

I bowed to show respect and I left the room without saying a word, I was holding back tears of anger. Their cold attitudes always pissed me off, they were obviously glad that the man and his son came so they could have at least thank her for showing them inside. Their relationship was bad but she wanted at least a little respect or love from them, no matter how much she hated them they are still her parents.

I got to my room and closed the door behind me, the tears of anger spilled from my eyes. I walked passed the open window and threw myself onto my bed. As my weight fell on the bed everything bounced up around me and danced in the air for a second. I watched them as they fell back onto the bed or rolled off the bed and onto the floor. I stared up at the ceiling as my anger melted away with the tears.
There was a knock on the door and I just ignored it as the knocks kept getting louder in sound. I eventually could not ignore it anymore, “What do you want?”

“Get your a*s out here,” her mother’s voice traveled into the room, “And change into proper clothes, not that trash you call clothes.”

“Yes mother,” I said with hatred in my voice, I made no effort to hide my tone. She scoffed and I heard her footsteps fade away in the distance. Better change before I have to feel mother’s wrath, I thought to myself as I changed into the dress that I was wearing earlier for dinner. I looked out into the twinkling night sky and watched the moon surrounded by the stars. It looked so bright and so free; I captured that memory before turning and leaving the room.

I took my time to get into the living room; I just had a feeling that they were gathered in the living room. I walked into the living room, my gut feeling was right; my whole family was sitting on the couches with the man and his son sitting across from them. No one seemed happy to see me but they still acknowledged my presence. “Elizabeth,” my mother said as she sipped her tea, “Take a seat.”