Wondering

I wonder if they notice that today I didn’t say so much

While they giggled and joked at dinner

And I toyed with my food

Absentmindedly spinning downward

 

I wonder if he noticed that the paper I handed in was slapped together last minute

Because I put off all of my responsibilities

Because I’m too busy thinking

And thinking and thinking

 

I wonder if he notices the smeared mascara on my pillowcase

From the episode last night

As I spread my hair over it

And tell him I love him

 

I wonder if she notices that my excuses are feigned and hollow

And “I’m just not feeling up to it” is becoming more frequent

Because a knot forms in my stomach anytime an opportunity presents itself

for me to reach out

 

I wonder if anyone else wonders so much,

What would be different if I didn’t wonder so much

And if they secretly despise that I wonder so much

And if he would love me more if I didn’t wonder so much

And why why why I wonder so much

And why why why I can't stop

Author's Note

the faulty punctuation is intentional, don't worry (:

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Two thumbs up! This takes the nightly mental musings and carves them a place forever in the ponderings of the mind. Everyone wonders and everyone else wonders and both ask why? Yet as your ink shares with us, those answers are often hidden in plain sight in a world of lefts and rights... In this case it's the placement of the pillow that guides the eyes either in or away.
I think how you've worded this, it really captures the deeper emotions.

Great Job!
Aaron

[S. K. Burke]

Thanks so much (: !

[??????]

I think we all wonder of the wonderings to be. Would they love us any less hmmm not sure. Truth is there is not one thing wrong in wondering. You did a fantastic job:)

[The Twin Arenas]

The third stanza is good. I never really thought about what girls might be hiding under their hair.

[Coyote Poetry]

Good to wonder.
"And why why why I wonder so much
And why why why I can't stop"
A active mind is a healthy mind. I like the flow of thoughts leading to the strong ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[S. K. Burke]

Thank you so much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.