Untitled

This really happened to me. I wrote it to understand my actions, and let others know that they're not alone. Other people hurt too.

I lied to you yesterday

I didn't mean to

In fact

I didn't even realize that it was a lie

Until I couldn't catch my breath

I told you I was okay

That I really was getting better

And it was the truth

I thought it was

Or maybe I just wanted, hoped, to be okay again

So much

That I created my own false reality

I'm sorry

I really thought it was the truth

That I could actually be okay

But now that I know I'm not

How do I tell you?

I've felt okay

Good, even

And you were quick to believe my words

I was too

But now my lie is holding me

One hand in the two that are choking me

But then I was curled up on the floor

Arms wrapped around myself

Not able to breathe

Praying

To someone who might not even be listening

Hating

Myself for what I have done

Crying

My dam and blockade finally broken

Regretting

The poor, costly choices I've made

I'm sorry for lying

But I thought

I thought

I

I didn't realize how close I was

To falling apart

Until it took all of my strength

To hold myself together

Author's Note

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