Saving Yourself

still working on this...

 

Yes,

I  can see this hopeless longing

hidden, deep behind your  eyes....

and I  realize

that you  wear this carefree smile

only to act as your disguise

 

and

 you are still haunted by  past dissapointments

that you  tried to convince yourself were dead

and that at times

you

hide like  some timid coward

denying

disenchantments

that still stalk you in your  head,

.....as  you do your very best

to avoid the truths that might be said...

 

 You  admit

that you  are  so sick of treading water

still Stuck,

in this same

stagnant , stale

dormant place

 

and it is so obvious

how you now

despise

this jaded ,

worn- out,

tired look

that replaced

- any last trace

of the glowing hope

that  once,

exuded  from your  face...

 

and you  let time become your enemy,

you let it, 

 continuously eat  away at you,  

until it convinced you to see,

that for you,

there may  be no way out,

so you then

 - just wandered further  off,

Into this fog,

of uncertainty and doubt...

 

and now

you are plauged

with your own  

pathetic desperation

living lost

continuously longing

for  some

stimulating sensation

or

hoping

for  some

thought provoking inspiration

that might somehow

possibly replace

 your  now abonded

and forgotten

rotten  motivation...

 

and as you   further convince yourself,  

that your  whole world

has now gone ill

and that you

might never

find for yourself,

what you think  

might make you

 finally 

feel fulfilled...

Well,

you are  only twisting   this knife a little deeper,

helpeing to kill

anything that was left,

of your already dying

  spirit and will ...

 and as  you keep crying yourself

to sleep at night

convincing yourself, 

 it is too late

 you now

 can never   be  saved....

well,

you are only digging this hole a little deeper now,

burying yourself

in your very own grave....

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kaotic Barbie]

I loved your words.. So beautiful even though sad. Great Write.