A little bit better...

 

 

 

 

- so

I woke up today,

and I gladly can say

that I am finally feeling

a little bit better

- a little more like myself

ever since you went away

 

I finally decided

it was time for me

to climb up out of this mess

and try to find a way

to make this all hurt

a little bit less

 

so i decided

I am no longer

going to sit  around

and desperately wait

for you to call

Or try to convince myself

I still might hear your foot steps

out in the hall

 

And I am not going to let myself

be overtaken

and

feel that sharp pain

Everytime I hear someone

mention your name

  

I decided

it was time to stop

acting so sad

and to no longer

 fight myself

when I admit

that maybe your leaving

 wasn't really

so bad

 

and I am through with

holding back

and not allowing myself

to move on

Or denying  the truth

- That you  REALLY  are  gone

 

And

I am done

trying to figure out

what it was

that made things go  wrong

And I am no longer

blaming myself

for us

not  getting along

 

And I am not going to keep analyzing

all the words that you said

Or allow you to still

 control every thought

that goes through my head

 

And i am no longer

going to deny

that our bad days

started to out number the good

And that

too many times

too often

I felt unappreciated

and misunderstood

And I am no longer

going to be blind to see

that  you started

treating me ways

that no one ever should

and how you started

doing things

I never thought you would

 

There is not a reason for me

to sit here and cry anymore

Or think i might die

if i never see your face

walk back through that door

and I can finally admit

i was foolish

for thinking

that you were "the one"

and that my heart and affection

never again

could be won

 

and i am so sick

of letting everything

that i see remind me of you

and I am finished

with constantly thinking about

all of the things

that we used to do....

and If you think

l am going to

continue

to be so lovesick

and Distraught

And that your leaving me has left me

completely overwrought

Well you can go ahead now

And just forget it!

Because I am no longer permiting myself

to

be so damn pathetic!

 

and I am finally

thankfully

able to see

That i don't need you in my life

to really be happy

And without you now

I will be just fine,

- my heart will heal

i just needed some time

 

- So

I am forbidding myself

to ever again

think of you

or let myself

hope and pray

that you might

find a way

to love me again

and I am now

forcing

all of this

sulking and pining for you

ti come  to an  end...

and

it is feeling pretty damn good now

I must confess

As I notice my dazzling

sparkling success

and I am

missing you each day now

Less and less…