I wait for you
on the corner
patiently
just like I do every day
I spent over an hour
fixing my hair and make up
hoping that today
will be the day
you finally accept me
I have not eaten all week
in hopes that
maybe now
I will finally be good enough for you
but i never am
"Why do you still have the belly?"
and
"Why do you make that half smile when you are unsure?"
and better yet,
I ask myself,
Why do i keep coming back for more?
and
"Look over there,
at her long lean legs,
Don't you wish that those were yours?"
please tell me
how much more of this
am i going to endure
until
I finally stop myself
coming back for more....
I CRINGE
when i go back to that time
And
I CRINGE
when I think about all the things that I would do
And what I would put myself through,
to finally be good enough for you.
But I never was.
and I would have done anything and everything
for you to finally
accept me
approve me
- Anything and everything
for you to maybe
even possibly
love me
for me
but you never could.
And I cant hate you for that
And I cant hate you
for the awful way
that you treated me
the only thing
that i can rightfully hate
is my own stupidity.