Much to Lose

this is a story about everyones mission in life

Sweetie12110 - Why do we want to help people? I mean, if people are going to be nasty then what’s the point? I would rather be in the ER where they can‘t talk. ”
JoshuaJames82 - “Taylor Ann, is everything okay?”
Sweetie12110 - “It’s just…the patients are so whiny and half the time they don’t even care whether it’s you who does what they want or someone else. I’m at the bottom of the totem pole here! I wish I was doing something more exciting, like an ambulance call or working in the ER. That’s so much more important then working with disabled people and old ladies. They do the same thing everyday, all day while I run back and forth getting stuff for them and all the other nurses and doctors and important people that just need a gofer. *sigh*
JoshuaJames82 - Well…human life should be valued no matter what. Once you become unfeeling towards them, your reason for even aspiring to be who you want to be is meaningless. Just like you have to work with older people, I have to hand equipment to my friends who are saving lives in the middle of a raging fire. I do it because I have to for training, but I do it to the best of my ability. Our mission is to do everything as if it really did matter, even if its just simple things. Not every patient will be going through a heroic battle between life and death that you alone save. You’re going to get a lot of people who don‘t even want to know your name. Both of our dream jobs are all about saving lives, even if it doesn’t seem worth it. If your doing all that you can and the best that you can, your mission is complete because someday its going to matter to that one person. I would die before I fail to do everything possible to accomplish that mission.”
Sweetie12110 - Well I guess you’re right, but its still been a long day and I have to do it again tomorrow! Anyway, I should get some sleep, you should too. Don’t stay up too late, Josh.
JoshuaJames82 - I’ll try to sleep, though we get a lot of fire calls around this time of year, night.
Sweetie12110 - Night

Three years later after graduation…

Text from Josh 11:30pm:

Im gonna go to bed, Im exhausted.

Text from Taylor 11:32pm:

"K, Im sure there will b calls tonight so Ill go too."


Text from Josh 11:34pm:

"I dunno, Ive a weird feeling abt tonight."

Text from Taylor11:36pm:

"Like what?"

Text from Josh11:38pm:

"I don't know, I just feel weird,"

Text from Taylor11:40pm:

"Well get some sleep, you'll feel better. I got to do an all nighter shift on the ambulance tonight," .

Text from Josh11:42pm:

"Good luck then, night."

Joshua
5:30 am - 5:35 AM
The sirens wake him from the deep sleep that finally had settled over his troubled mind.
“Josh, get a move on!” the partly dressed fireman yells from the other room. Awaking and jumping up all in one motion, Joshua pulls on his boots.
“I have been on so many calls, why does this one feel different?” he wonders, pulling on the familiar suit and donning the heavy coat. Knowing he had checked the gear the night before, he is confident that this will just be another run in the everyday of a early morning fire call. Still, Joshua wants to be at his utmost prepared and checks again. "Glasses, flashlight..." , he shakes his dark hair out of his eyes.
“Joshua!” the frustrated teammate calls again, Joshua following as they race down the stairs and rush to the waiting truck, helmets in hand. Their heavy boots thud against the ground, strong legs moving them forward. Shaking off the uneasy feeling, Joshua climbs into the cab and mentally prepares for the call.


Taylor
5:45 AM - 5:47 AM
The siren’s wail rings in her tired ears as she drags herself from the third cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. “Come on, Taylor Ann, let’s go!” Keeshya tosses the empty cup and shakes her awake. Sighing, Taylor follows, dashing to the waiting ambulance. She rubs her forehead as her eyes adjust to the flashing lights.


Joshua
5:45 AM - 6:00 AM
The fire truck just barely pulls to the curb before Joshua jumps out in anticipation. The others are not far behind, taking orders and leaping into action. “There’s people in the building!” Joshua hears someone scream. “Joshua!” the fire chief calls him over to where he was standing by the fire team’s main unit.
“You’re in, but you’re to do exactly as they tell you, no heroics. If they say get out, you get out,” the chief looks sternly into the boy’s eager face.
“Yes, sir,” Joshua nods adjusting the back of his helmet.
“You’re with Bob,” he points and Joshua runs over the group who are quickly forming a plan.
“I’ll take the new kid and see how much we can save of the downstairs. Who wants to cover the second and third floors?” His face is grave as two brave hands go up.
“Okay, there are more units coming, let’s do the best we can and stick together. Kid, you’re with me,” he addressed Joshua who is staring after the group that had run off. Grabbing him by the shoulders, he forces Joshua to face the flames that are quickly engulfing windows, floors, and nearby trees of the burning building.
“This is a fire, not a game. People’s lives are at stake. Stick with me and do what I say, got it?” Once again, Joshua nods, not so sure about his excitement anymore. The screams of trapped people wrap around his heart as he follows close behind Bob. The raging flames seem to chant his name and mock his courage. As he slips into the intense heat of the burning building, the ambulance unit pulls in.



Taylor
6:00 - 6:15 AM
The swerving truck screeches to a halt in a nearby parking lot. Grateful for the stop, she jumps down.
“Taylor, pay attention!” the paramedic barks as Taylor turns to face the scene. People are milling about everywhere and everyone needs attention. As the first ambulance on call, she copies the others, trying to control the overwhelming amount of patients with medical needs. In front of her, Taylor can hear a wall burst into flames, the loud crack sending itself hurling into the morning sky.
“Help,” an older man pleads, holding his neck.
“Ok, sir, just calm down,” she says, soothing both herself and him. More victims are brought out and her adrenaline begins to race. The last two summers have both been spent uninterestingly. The small town contains many older people, making for many “boring calls”. Still, Taylor would give anything now to be on a call where she didn’t have to think. What little experience she has separating herself from each situation stretches its limit as Taylor struggles to remember how to treat burn victims. In the middle of covering a child with ice packs, another one is brought out screaming in pain. This is worse then she has ever imagined in the many “what if’s” her mind had gone through. In her dreams and on all the TV series, everyone is saved. The model example in her mind matches with nothing she is experiencing. The fire is supposed to be smaller, more controlled, and the dramatic rescue of a little girl’s cat is cued in the height of emotions. This scene isn’t right. Distracted from her momentary panic, she snaps back to attention as the patient she is working on finally begins to breathe. The paramedic behind her steps in and takes over. Taylor moves away willingly, not wanting to take on any more then she has to. Taking a good look at the fire for the first time, a wave of nausea washes over her. The surroundings overwhelming her as patients demand attention, fire chiefs yell orders, and the ambulance team struggle to save lives. Glancing over to the back entrance, the universe seems to stop in mid-spin and time begins to move in slow motion. A blackened warrior is dragged from the licking flames, the other fire fighters screaming for assistance.
“Guys!” Taylor recovers, motioning over a stretcher. Running to keep up with her racing thoughts, she tries not to lose control. Her mind, reeling from the horror, switches quickly into a position of command.
“This is my call, my first call,” she thinks proudly.
“Let’s get his gear off and we’ll see the damage from there!” she directs, looking to make sure they heard. Remarkably calm, she tries not to remember the ashen material contains a human, refusing to think about the soul with a family and a life that is placed in her hands. At her order they remove the mask, the pounding adrenaline running deeply through her inner core turns to liquid cold fear. Catching the barest glimpse of his face, agony grips at the edges of her cool. Like evil grasping on pure innocence, is experience preying on her naïve understanding.
“Does anyone know what happened?” she looks over her shoulder to the crowd of concerned firemen standing helplessly behind her.
“There was an older lady, she couldn’t move. The other firemen had said to go back, she was already unconscious and the fire was too hot,” the EMT yells over the commotion. Hands rip off the burned suit as they talk. Frantically, she helps take off the burned remains of his protection, his gear burning her fingertips.
“Did they get her out?” Taylor yells back, keeping her eye on everything that was going on.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t look good.” Already imagining what he did, Taylor allows her mind to wander for a few seconds.


Joshua
5:50AM
Dark clouds of hazy smoke surround the scarce armor he has from the blaze around him. The building is hard to see in and they aren’t in for more then five minutes before the team is ready to give up. In the fiery darkness Joshua can hear screaming, and runs to find the source.
“Kid, get back here!” Bob yells, following him up the weak stairs. Suddenly, the screaming stops and others can be heard in the distance.
“You’re going to get us both killed,” about to rip him backwards by his collar, Bob stops and looks where Joshua’s staring intensely. The flames before their faces die down for a moment and they can make out the form of a lady on her bed, obviously passed out.
The mission before Joshua is decided quickly, stemming deeply from the morals of his heart. Intent blue eyes search behind the blackened mask, as he shakes with mixed adrenaline and fear that run through his veins.
“Joshua, get back!” he can barely hear Bob’s desperate cries over the crackling noise of splitting dry wood.
“I have to save her!” Joshua yells.
“I’m not leaving without you!” Bob screams angrily, his compassion boiling into anger at Joshua’s foolishness. The old lady was probably dead already and if not she would never wake up from the amount of smoke that had already been inhaled
“Go, I’ll be fine!” Joshua turns, ripping from the weak grasp of Bob’s gloved hands. Joshua’s dark form stands black against the fiery furnace. Bob swears loud and long, but decides to wait until he comes back, an uneasiness settling over him. Inside, the fire assaults Joshua. Smoke forms a thick cloud in the room, causing his head to spin. “Just a few more steps,” Joshua speaks aloud, putting his hands out to steady himself on her bed. Unable to see straight, he gropes for what isn’t there. Losing the battle to stay alert , Joshua feels the sensation of falling. The burned floor creaks with his weight as he hits the ground. His perceptions numb, he lies in a bed of fire, unaware he is burning alive.
“Come on, Joshua, get up,” his senses scream at him to move as the nerves begin to burn on his stomach. Forcing his exhausted body, he pushes against the burning pain in his hands and stands, wheezing and gasping for air. Stumbling over, Joshua manages to wrap his arms around the older lady’s frail body and throw a blanket over her thin clothes. Using all the strength he has left, he faces the flames. It is the last thing he remembers as he stumbles through the barrier of burning pain. Collapsing against Bob, Joshua’s mind goes blank, the searing pain taking over. “Oh, kid”, Bob mutters, unsure of what to do. Just in time, one of the other fireman come to his rescue. Bob leaps on the chance. “Take the lady, I’ll get the kid,” Bob yells, knowing his time is limited to no more then a few seconds. The small fire was already angrily burning through Joshua’s thick gear. “Come on, hang in there,” Bob drags the boy down the stairs and outside, pulling him far enough away to drop him and put out the fire the had long burnt through. “I need help!” he screams, the uneasiness becoming a growing concern as Joshua sinks into unconsciousness.



Taylor
6:16 AM
The movie in Taylor’s mind plays courageous music as she pictures the images in her mind. Joshua should have carried the little old lady through the flames without injury. Making it out just in time as a dramatic fire explodes behind him. Old lady is saved, end of story. But the burned skin….she reaches for a pulse and finds no sign of life. “He’s not breathing,” she cries, beginning CPR frantically. Memories of laughter and joking flashes through her mind as she presses just below his strong chest in an all too familiar movement. It was hard to believe they were talking five hours ago about nothing. Now it mattered so much, every word he said could be his last. Musing over the conversations they had over the years brought back the recollection of his fearless statement during one of their regular IM sessions one hot humid night before any of their lives had changed.
“ Our dream jobs are all about saving that one person, even if they don’t seem worth it.” “No, come on, Josh, fight it!” she screams, tears forming in the back of her throat as his body stops fighting.
“If you’re doing all that you can and the best that you can, your mission is complete because someday it’s going to matter to that one person.” Ten minutes go by and she is not aware of her sobs, the horror that is subconsciously settling over her as his body goes limp. “I would die before I fail to do everything possible to accomplish that mission.” Lips quivering, the firefighter knows its over and stops his vain attempt to bring his best friend back. His heart breaks as he watches the young girl keep going after he had stopped giving Joshua mouth to mouth. The firefighter nods to Keeysha, bowing his own head and turning away.
“Taylor, stop, he’s gone.” Keeysha tries, putting a hand on Taylor's shoulder.
It is as if Taylor hadn’t heard her. A couple of the medics on hand pull her away from Joshua’s burnt form and Keeysha’s body encloses Taylor’s in a protective embrace.
“He’s gone, let him go,” she whispers in Taylor’s ear, loosening her grip as the girl’s defenses relax and she heaves deep sobs that rack her small frame. For a long time, they stay wrapped in each others arms, Taylor trying to convince herself it isn’t true, Keeshya trying to avoid being called to work on the last line of patients. On cue, the rain begins to fall, defeat settles over the onlookers. The invisible weight of death bears down like the pressure in space that rips its objects apart. Slowly, the personnel leave. The last of the trucks fighting the dying fire, while the rest of the firefighters cry without shame. Numb, Taylor follows Keeshya into the ambulance for the ride back to the hospital. Barely aware of her actions she drives home after her shift ends and phones the hospital for the newest patients. Unable to say goodbye, she hangs up at the clerk’s words,
“I’m sorry, the old lady has died. She never felt the pain though, she was unconscious the whole time. Are you family?” The gentle click of the phone in its cradle allows her to finally let go, alone. That day’s sleep is the only rest she will get for weeks as she obsesses over Joshua's selfless and seemingly foolish act. Why is it so worthless? The little old lady is supposed to have at least lived in memory of Joshua, but then for how long? She was old, maybe she would have eked out another ten years of misery in that apartment. Why would Joshua give his life for that? The question will haunt her through his wake, through his funeral where their classmates reminisce about old times, and even through her own years in the medical field.

One humid day in August, almost a full three years after the fire, she reflects back on the still vivid memories. Decidedly, she goes through her computer’s old documents. It is time to start new, and the only way to let go. Scrolling through the documents of online conversations, she laughs and cries, and smiles when she pulls up the conversation labeled “cute.” There in Joshua’s green and black font stands the answer to her long unanswered question.


"Our mission is to do everything as if it really did matter, even if its just simple things. Not every patient will be going through a heroic battle between life and death that you alone save. You’re going to get a lot of people who don‘t even want to know your name. Both of our dream jobs are all about saving lives, even if it doesn’t seem worth it. If your doing all that you can and the best that you can, your mission is complete because someday its going to matter to that one person. I would die before I fail to do everything possible to accomplish that mission.”

Leaning her forehead on the palms of her hands, she realizes experience can never come close to that kind of passion. It’s something that will only be encountered in a few special people and a standard everyone should live up to. “Code 10, Code 10 calling all responders!” she jumps as the familiar crackle of the radio attached her hip comes alive. Standing to leave, the sirens wail loud and long. Her mission is calling. "Thanks, Joshua," she whispers, smiling as she assumes her professional tone once again, "Code 10, ambulance one responding."

 

Reviews

[thecoolone52]

wow amazzzzzing........ one of the best pieces ive read in awhille........ its got twists and all sorts of conflicts and climaxes just a great piece........ thanks for entering my contest

[Max Arnold]

this was pretty good. I think you should have stuck with the texting, which was a unique angle. but that is just my opinion.

keep working. you have talent