Internet interlude

An internet conversation

INSTANT MESSAGE between two strangers



Man: MMMmmmmm.

Woman: MMMmmmmm???

Man: I bet you are HOT!

Woman: No, it is winter and I am too cheap to run my furnace.

Man: I like women who play hard to get.

Woman: I do not play video games.

Man: What?

Woman: I AM SORRY I DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE HARD OF READING. I WILL WRITE BIGGER FOR YOU , I DO NOT PLAY VIDEO GAMES.

Man: You are messing with my mind ?

Woman: NO I TEND TO LIKE THINGS TO BE WELL ORGANIZED AND CLEAN.

Man: The game I want to play is not a video game it is a game of imagination called cybersex.

Woman: I DO NOT HAVE ANY GAMES OF IMAGINATION AND I BELIEVE CYBERSEX IS A PSP1 GAME OR IS THAT CYBERCHASE?

Man: No it is a game where we have sex over the computer.

Woman: THAT WOULD BE AN AWKWARD PLACE TO HAVE SEX I WOULD MUCH PREFER TO HAVE SEX IN A BED.

Man: No , NO, you are getting it all wrong. You tell me what you want to do with me while I get off.

Woman: GET OFF THE COMPUTER ? OR ARE YOU STUCK IN A HIGH PLACE? I WOULD OFFER YOU A LADDER BUT I DO NOT HAVE ONE YOU COULD ASK THE FIRE DEPARTMENT THEY HAVE LOTS OF LADDERS.

Man: Look I will show you how it is done. I am unbuttoning your blouse and caressing your hard n*****s.

Woman: I AM NOT WEARING A BLOUSE AND THE SWEATSHIRT I AM WEARING HAS NO BUTTONS.

Man: I am burning up inside help me out here.

Woman: OHHHH, SO YOU HAVE INDIGESTION.  I HAVE SOME ROLIADS I COULD GIVE YOU.


Man: Are you always this difficult? !

Woman: I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT HELPFUL. I  DID OFFER YOU MY ROLAIDS I CAN NOT HELP THAT I DO NOT HAVE A LADDER BUT I HAVE NO USE FOR ONE.

Man: You are a riot !

Woman: NO I AM IRISH AND SCOTTISH. A RIOT IS A LARGE MASS OF ANGRY PEOPLE.

Man: Would you like me to give you multiple O's?

Woman: THANKS BUT I ALREADY HAVE MULIPLE O'S THEY CAME WITH THE FONT PACKAGE ON WINDOWS 98.

Man: What??!!

Woman: I AM SORRY ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE READING AGAIN I WILL TYPE LARGER FOR YOU. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER GETTING GLASSES YOU COULD HAVE LAZY EYES.

Man: I give up you win!!

Woman: WOW REALLY I DID NOT KNOW WE HAD STARTED PLAYING A GAME. WHAT WAS MY SCORE?

Man: I have to go my head hurts now.

Woman: OK GOOD BYE. YOU KNOW BAD EYES CAN CAUSE HEADACHES SO YOU REALLY SHOULD MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR THE EYE DOCTOR.

Man: Good riddens!!!!

Woman: HOW RUDE AND AFTER ALL MY HELPFULNESS YOUR JUST PISSED BECAUSE YOU LOST THE GAME.

Stephanie Jean McCants
Copyright 2006 Stephanie Jean McCants
 

Author's Note

ignore grammer and spelling it is what it is

Reviews

[THE BLACK SEAL]

lol this reminds me of conversations with soemone else who became angry because i was not interested in them sexually or any other way...they still cause me problems sometimes and i think you know of whom i speak..i was the woman in that situation for the sake of this context..lol
naturally being what it is i loved it. it is full of great wit, and i love wit..lol
Now i know you will have some smartass comeback so i shall await it..lol

[SugarlessGiRL]

oh my lawrd that was amazing~ I haven't laughed that much in a long time~! You did a wonderful job writing this!

[JRB]

Been there, heard this, thats the facts behind space talk and openness.
Jan/uisiom

[KieraCrimeScene]

wow! I love this! This is hilarious! I just kept laughing as i scrolled down! Very funny! Can't wait to see more!

[Tara]

Very cute. :)