First Day in College

First chapter

Sir started to check drawing notebook, as this was my 1^st class and I hadn’t brought it with me.

“Excuse me sir, this is my 1^st day of college and I didn’t know.” I said with sad voice.

“So why are you here? Go into D division” almost they cried on me.

“Okay sir, but let this class over I’ll go for next class.” I said in reply.

“No, no just go don’t tell me anything”, and he forced me to go.

Ridiculous man, I was almost in mood to cry. Then Mr.Patil sir came and took me to div D.

I entered in class which was already started. I sat on 3^rd bench near to window. Our college had large Windows with small balcony and had very nice infrastructure.

In that class I saw shubhangi (boring name is it??) felt little better. Then we said to gather in seminar hall for a function of teacher’s day. During this function I was crying. I know it’s ridiculous but what should I do. I am far away from home. I have no friends.

At evening after college we came at our hostel building. I used to cry in the morning while

I am folding my blanket, while washing my inner, while bathing with that cold bloody water , while eating bloody stuff and dinner. I missed my home a lot. Where I used to sing a song in loud and boring voice , dancing all over the home, eat delicious food.

Reviews

[Sawdust]

the story-line and the plot was a bit too pale. a few literary devices could help.
Also it does not have a solid use of imagery.
expression was fair, if not very good.
you can improve.

[siyali93]

Nice but improve it. You can, however, introduce new ideas that go beyond the book if they extend the logic of your own thesis. This paragraph needs to balance the book’s strengths and weaknesses in order to unify your evaluation.
Avoid excessive quotation and give a specific page reference in parentheses when you do quote. Remember that you can state many of the author’s points in your own words.