Brief Letter

Not really wonderful. A letter I'd like to give someone. It's a little emo.

Dear love,

 

It’s hard to tell you my thoughts on today, or tonight even. Things have been so stagnant and nothing has moved since I decided not to say a word about my thoughts. I know I told you that talking about it wouldn’t solve anything, and you took that and told me that if I didn’t wish to say, it was okay. I only wish you acted like you cared more about it. But that’s selfish. I’m selfish, but here’s what’s going on.

 

I didn’t want to tell you because I don’t want to force you to do anything that you may not want to do. It’s quite possible that I’m right, but more possible that I’m not. However I do wish for you to know because I find that it is unfair to me. That’s not right either, because it’s not like I even deserve a fourth chance to try to make this work. It isn’t like you haven’t given me every chance I could possibly exhaust.

 

I guess what I’m afraid of is that I’m the ‘other woman’ because you’re too afraid to be left alone again. That is understandable, I can’t possibly tell you to give her up, not if you still want to be with her. We both know for a fact that she’d never leave you. That comes with the territory I think. An insecure girl, one your age, one who is a lot more trustworthy than I’ll ever be, could never leave you in the dark with no one.

 

I did, though. I did many times and I regret that. I loved you and I love you but I am no good at making things work. I am afraid to consult you with my problems and I am afraid to tell you how I feel, because I’m afraid for you to think that you’ve done anything wrong when you haven’t. I’d like to know, are you afraid of me? Do you lust after me but really fear what I might do to you? What I could do to you? What I have done to you? I fear those things. I fear leaving you again because of my own fickle nature. But that’s always how I feel. I told you I feared that and you kept telling me that I shouldn’t fear it if I love you.

 

What can I say? Have these questions solved anything? No, they wouldn’t, not even if I had asked them to your face. They would make you frown and look away, your eyes may get a little watery but even I have never seen you cry. You love to help people, and hurting people is the last thing you could ever do. I wonder if that is the only reason you are juggling her and me. You don’t want to hurt me by saying you really don’t love me as much as I do for you (This is just a hypothesis). Everyone knows how much I love you, because those who know me see you as a knot in my pattern. You don’t fit into the web of people that I have gotten myself involved with. You’re not cold, you’re not older than me, you’re not apathetic and nauseatingly arrogant, you have never treated me poorly. I’m just hoping that I do not embellish this spider-like imagery to the point where I see myself as the spider and you as the fly, slowly watching you struggle in this web of my creation.

 

I’m your temptress and someone I know you wish you could have, but know better now. Fool you once, shame on me, fool you twice, shame on you… But what happens the fourth time? Fool you four times…. Hopefully this time I’m the fool?

Author's Note

No need to review.

Reviews

[Dan Bullock]

Amazing to put it up here...and i mean that completely in a good way! Not emo and I'm really not being patronising but I had a letter thing with a girl when I was at school still, letters of want and lust and not knowing what's next. It all went to pot of course in the end, but I learned, I lived and I got better.....whatever will be, will be....but if something are worth fighting for...then fight ;-D

[thecoolone52]

haha 2 bad im reviewing it anyway..... yeah i liked this are you giving it to some guy or what??? Good job though explaining your feelings and letin your guard down